Hi, I know that voice inside the head well. It still gets me from time to time. You just have to remember that it's only a part of your disorder, it's not YOU. I find it helps me to write down the negative thoughts rather than let them run like a crazy bear through my head!
Starting at a new job is bound to throw up all kinds of anxieties and insecurities and so I don't blame you for feeling scared. Nothing wrong with that at all. Allow yourself to accept the anxiety but don't let it get in control. Talk it out with Jason if you need (who sounds like a real gem).
I'm glad you are going back to the doctor, I hope that helps you out. Make sure he/she is aware of your anxiety about new job..sometimes they can be helpful. Sometimes not!
I'm sorry I missed your last post. Welcome to HW
Panic Attack Survivor
Weekend Warrior Princess