Yeah I can relate. My anxiety and depression started when I was in the 5th grade, and it slowly built up to a chaotic mess. In high school I had some health issues, which was weird because usually I'm a pretty healthy person. I remember learning in health class that stress can cause some physical effects on the body. I guess that can go with anxiety too.
Things have gotten a bit better, where I can deal with it now, but it's like, that's not good enough...I know there's more out there, and that we all have potential to reach it, but I just don't know how to reach it. I don't want to live life feeling 'good enough.' I want to feel the best I can be...it's just, I've had such a negative attitude for such a long time that whenever I try to think positive, my mind automatically shuts it down, claiming it unrealistic. It's scary how anxiety and negativity can take control of you.
What's helped me deal with this is writing, I love writing, have wanted to be a writer since the 3rd grade, I write poetry and songs to leave those thoughts. I love writing so much, it's my favorite thing to do. You have to find that one thing you're most passionate about and whenever you feel this way, do it right then, and then soon the thoughts will go away. And if you don't know what you're passionate about, then you can explore everything, from stuff you've always wanted to do to stuff you thought you'd never try. By doing that you'll forget all that's bothering you because your mind will be occupied on something else.
Finding peace and happiness is like an uphill battle, feeling nearly impossible, but they say that the best things in life are the hardest to achieve. It's through our efforts and struggles while continuing to move forward despite all of the issues bothering us that make us strong. I believe everyone has the power to achieve this peace and happiness, some just have to work harder for it. But the ones who work hardest for it enjoy it the most when reached.
I believe in you, you have the power to move forward and find what you've been searching for. If you ever need anything, feel free to send me a message. <3
I’m lonely; gotta look for a party
And dance with somebody tonight
Cuz I’m lonely; I feel empty inside
Can’t you make me feel alive?
- I | N |S | O | M | N | I | A -
“Insomnia” - the Veronicas