I'm new to this online-support-group thing, so any help would be great.
For starters, I know I'm a hypochondriac. I've always been. It's never been bad though, except for these past few months. I'm recently married to the most amazing man on the planet, and have for some reason begun to worry almost constantly that something is going to happen to me (that I might lose him) or that I might die and be forever apart from him. It doesnt help that about a month ago I started having bad abdomenal pains (cramps, bloating, stabbing pains) along with chest pressure (mostly pressure with a lot of burping, and sometimes pains). So of course I'm worried about pneumonia, anemia, cancer, etc etc etc.
Also not helping is that I'm not busy at work. I can only check my email and favorite blogs so many times. My time-filler became looking up my symptoms and self-diagnosing. Bad, I know.
A little bit of history about me - I went through a pretty serious bout of depression in college, and went on anti-depressants for 2 (maybe 3) years. They were amazing. My depression was gone, my worries had all but vanished, and I felt great for the first time in a looong time. I believed my depression was mostly circumstantial, so last year (around the time that I started dating my now husband), I decided to go off the meds. And I remained in good shape. Sure, I was stressed (moving to a new city, getting a new job, planning a wedding), but key here - I was busy.
It's a year later now (with a load of new stresses - another possible move, bad economy, finding a new job...) and my worrying has consumed me. I worry about something happening to my husband (he travels a good bit), but I mostly worry that I'm going to die. Irrational, yes. But I can't get myself out of my head. Tingly/spasmy leg? Blood clot that's going to give me a heart attack or brain aneurism. Mildly numb arm? Stroke. Heightened tongue awareness? I'm going to choke on it in my sleep.
Bottom-line, I'm driving myself crazy, I'm driving my husband crazy, and this has to stop. I don't want to go back on meds because I don't like being "medicated", but I'm at my wits end. I turn 24 this weekend, and all I want is (1) to stop being worried about dying, and (2) feel like I'm breathing normally again.
Post Edited (wildimagination) : 10/16/2008 9:31:05 AM (GMT-6)