Posted 10/10/2008 9:26 PM (GMT -6)
I posted this on the bipolar thread but I want to get to know people who have anxiety too, and I mostly suffer from anxiety than hypomania. So here ya go:
I'm 18, from Michigan, just got right out of high school and into my first year of college. As a child I had some separation anxiety, but it was never too bad that I couldn't function. Then in 5th grade I got OCD, though it was undiagnosed for three more years. At 13 I became severely depressed and that lasted for about
two years. My freshman year of high school was alright, but in the middle of the year things started to fall apart again and then for the rest of high school it was a huge roller coaster. I was originally diagnosed with depression, but in my junior year they suspected that I might have a mild case of bipolar because I started to have some hypomania. I was hospitalized in late April of my junior year because of a serious mania episode. It took me the whole summer to get calm again, and all summer to finish my schoolwork. A year later in my senior year I got back in the hospital. I've been in therapy for four years and have been to three different counselors. The one I'm currently with is pretty good. She kind of chooses the topic though to talk about
, but she makes me laugh.
High school was okay for me, but I hated the drama and gossip. Especially senior year, where girls were carrying it on over the stupidest stuff...I was like, we're graduating soon, why are we still fighting? College seems to be better with that, in high school I was extremely shy, I think I might have social anxiety disorder, and whenever I tried to talk to someone for a conversation they'd look at me or give me this vibe as if they were saying, Why are you even talking to me? But college is different, people are more
open-minded and accepting. The only class that seems to be like high school is my Spanish class, which even though it's second year Spanish it's still full of freshmen who just can't seem to get over themselves. There are some people in the class though that are older and more mature, so I talk to them.
I've also had a terrible romantic encounter, I posted it in the anxiety thread, just to put it short an ex really messed me up psychologically that every night I have nightmares about
him killing my family and they're very vivid.
Things have gotten better, I still have anxiety though and I switch from depression to hypomania, but for the most part I'm finally starting to get things under control. It's kind of scary though, this is exactly what happened freshman year of high school and things fell apart again, so I'm hoping this won't happen again...but we'll see. I think it's great that I found a forum with people who are going through what I'm going through and people I can relate to. I'm just hoping people won't judge me since I'm young and just out of high school, I consider myself mature for my age but that's just me. And the people here seem very nice and understanding from what I've seen. :)
I’m lonely; gotta look for a party
And dance with somebody tonight
Cuz I’m lonely; I feel empty inside
Can’t you make me feel alive?
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