I guess I must be telepathic! I'm very glad to hear how you coped with your Dr visit---those cubicles can feel very lonely places,while you're sitting waiting for a Dr,surrounded by bits of creepy looking equipment.I've seen this both as a patient and a nurse---as a nurse,you try to reassure the patient as best you can,but when it's yourself,alone,well-a different matter entirely.And of course,you have your experience with your mother,to add to the anxiety and stress.You have cojones,my friend.I hope the ultrasound will show something treatable,so you could be free from some physical pain at least.
Not being from your part of the world,who are the SSA,and what can they do for you? Will something positive happen for you if they decide you are "nuts"?I hope you aren't getting in a terrible anxiety state about your appointment(it makes me think of someone I know,who always got anxious about what he called "looming gigs")---at least it isn't long to wait.And you know there's always someone here to talk to if you feel the need.
I'm doing better----don't wake up terrified,starting to think the darkness is lifting....fingers crossed...still some bad days,but maybe some mental health returning.Christmas is always a tricky time for me,so I'm a bit wary of looking too far ahead....family conflicts etc.
Keep on keepin' on------I'm still enjoying your playlists,and lots of other music now.And I can read again----when I'm really ill I just can't,and that's hard on someone who has more than 5000 books,and adding to them every birthday/Christmas.
Please let us know how things are going.Peace and health.