The door bell, rings, and a man answers it.
Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying "Trick or Treat!"
The man asks the kids what he's dressed up like for Halloween.
The kid says, "I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes 28% of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say Thank You.
Two nuns are traveling through Europe in their car.
They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.
Suddenly, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and scratches at the windshield!
"Quick, quick!!" shouts the first nun "What shall I do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on, that will get rid of the abomination." shouts the second.
The first nun switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and hisses even more loudly!
"What shall I do now?" shouts the first nun.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican!" says the second.
Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and hisses again at the nuns.
"Now what?" screams the first nun. "Show him your cross!" says the second.
So the nun rolls down the window and shouts:
"GET OFF MY DARN HOOD, YOU LITTLE CREEP!"
Hint: She is cross like ticked off ROFLMBO