im exhausted. my arthritis is playing up, im still riding out the whole 'ulcerated eye' bit. im on an excellent, safe diet but the results are slow and i hate my body. it is the strongest form of self loathing when i look in the mirror- i spent the the first 22yrs of life (at 5ft11) never weighing more than 60kg- model proportions. then i changed from prozac to zoloft and BAM! big weight gain that is impossible to budge. i used to be the extroverted life of the party. now im borderline reclusive because i hate people seeing me. i feel trapped in a foreign body. exercise is basically out of the question cos of arthritis and fibromyalgia, so i eat very carefully, im on 1200 calories a day.
im sick to death of my physical sickness- forget the A/P, the physical stuff alone in enough to drive me batty. i first got sick (both physically and mentally) at 14. im now 28- i have spent half my entire life being chronically ill. 9 surgeries as well.
im strong for all my friends, they come to me for advice, to unload etc, but who will be strong for me? they try to be understanding about my health, but they have come to expect me bailing on plans at the last minute cos of health and A/P.
please excuse my wallowing- im tired of being this way, i need to go and mark essays, joy of joys. what a way to spend my sunday.
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibro, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, Sinusitis, IBS, Allergies, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, Seasonal Mood Disorder, OCD.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.