At times i think that I have some sort of speech problem or something wrong with my ability to verbaly communicate in asocial setting. I alsmost think this could have stemed from childhood... where I had fiew friends and spent more time reading than talking. Compounded by two years of homeschool in grade 8 and 9 and then the culture shock of hitting the WORLD from a sheltered Christian community where I was filled with religous jargon until it actually oozed out of me.
After two years of recovering (I moved out at 18 I'm 20 now) I'm just starting to be able to communicate with my peers... and even still I talk differently and think about different things than they do. Not being able to verbally communicate how you're feeliing is a diffuclt thing to deal with, and yet as I notice my frustration with the world I am unable to communicate those frustrations to the people around me. I instead write... read what I write and strategically choose what I'm going to tell people. I'm great for statistics and random knowledge.. because I enjoy reading so much that I do it pretty much all my free time. These are really just thoughts... nothing that I'm sure of for certain. I'm just very aware of my handicap in the terms of "voicing" my opion.. I'm great with letters :P
PS I wrote this whole thing without looking at the keyboard and listening to a conversation...
I actually also suspect I think in words..
Has anybody ever heard of anything like this? I don't even know where to post this. I've been toying with presenting this idea to my doctor... but I'm scared they're going to think I'm crazy. This is a theory that i've been working on for the last year as I get farther and farther away from the above events and as I try to make sense of what was going on.
Really I'm just wondering if my problem with communicating could have something to do with the anxiety I feel in public places - if this was the case couldn't I maybe be able to control my anxiety (to a point...) by having an understanding of what is causing my anxiety AND would this still mean that I have an anxiety disorder or something else? OR is the inability to find the proper words to express yourself a sign of anxiety?
Sorry So many questions but I'm trying to make sense of things so I can carry on with my life.
Diagnosed with Fibro - October 2008