Hello trying2getby.... I have suffered from PTSD for a long time.... the thing with PTSD is that there are many, many triggers.... it can be a smell(which is a very, very strong memory trigger). ... the tone of someone's voice... the way someone walks... the very look of a person.... any and all sorts of activities of daily living. For one of my daughters.(both my daughters also suffer from PTSD).who had wanted the bigger room for a long time, suddenly started experiencing all kinds of flashbacks, panic attacks etc... we finally discovered that it was the color of the walls. ... they were painted green... much of her abuse had taken place in a room with green walls... She wasn't even aware of the connection... it was my other daughter and I who finally figured it out.... as soon as we moved her out of that bedroom she was fine again.
PTSD symptoms... lack of sleep, nightmares, panic attacks, flashbacks, wax and wane in my case. It helps to get your story out in a safe environment... either with a counsellor, or through journaling etc... you have to get it out... tell it.... it is never easy... but there is no way AROUND it... you have to plow through it... plow is a strong word... most of us inch our way through it... two steps forward, three steps back... the fallbacks are ok... because through the process you are acquiring new coping skills , new awareness of your particular triggers and weaknessess.... I find that when one of my children is experiencing a hard time... I start having many, many flashbacks and intrusive memories. ... also if I am under any kind of stress or worry.
PTSD doesn't go away.... you simply learn how to manage those times when memories are flooding your thoughts and body.... With PTSD ... the body has a memory of its own also... so you may re-experience what you experienced , physically, as well as mentally, while the abuse or trauma was taking place.
Sometimes our bodies remember but we don't have a conscious connection to the memory that is causing the physical symptom.
There are counsellors who are specialized in dealing with PTSD . I guess the biggest challenge for us PTSDers is to own the memory,; it is part of who you are... We may not have had the power to do anything about it then... but we do have a choice now... we can let it destroy us or make us stronger... I think it is a long and difficult process... but honey it is worth it... YOU are worth it... besides... when and if you are ready to share your experiences , good and bad, and your recovery... it is SURE to help someone else who is going through something similar.
I keep having to remind myself that I am safe now... sometimes many times a day... fear overtakes my life at times... but usually not for long... depression is a constant struggle.
This is one of the best forums you could have chosen.... the people here are 'family' ... they don't judge... they listen and encourage... and believe me have pushed me out of the pits of despair, fear, anger, self-loathing many , many times. I KNOW I am much stronger because I have let some of this darkness out and shared it with this family...
Come to us often... you can email me if you wish... I would like to help... we'll help each other.
Sending healing thoughts and prayers ,
51 yr.old retired RN,Crohn's D for last35 yrs..severe esophagitis, migraines,strictures,urethral stricture,depression,probable MS.,RLS, arthritis, PTSD ,general anxiety disorder.