i knew something was really wrong because she didnt just cry- she kind of collapsed into my shoulder and just sobbed. we have strict rules about tocuhing between teachers/students, you use your own discretion- the fact that she felt comfortable enough to want me to hug her back meant she was really in trouble. her pulse was racing, she explained that home life was quite emotionally abusive- and the bullying. she is not your typical 'plastic pretty skinny blonde' and she was being victimised for not being a stick, for not conforming, for wearing too much eyeliner etc. i explained that the superficial stuff, were only words and that she could rise above this. she is so smart- she was being teased and left out for being academically inclined. she genuinely feared she was going 'crazy' and was extremely edgy and had begun self harming.
i shared with her a little of my own experience with anxiety so she didnt feel alone- i was 14 when i ended up having a nervous breakdown. she warmed to the fact that i had struggled at times also. i was just sooooo grateful that she agreed to a teen counselling program where her anxiety could be explained to her and monitored. i gave her some teen anxiety websites and breathing excercises.
i didnt write this post to "toot my own horn". i shared it because i believe that my P/A can be used for good. having been burdened with this illness since i was 10, ive learnt that IMHO God let me have this struggle so i could help others. i believe that P/A makes you more intune with the emotional needs of others. we all have the ability to make a difference in the lives of others, even if we cant always see it.
i believe my panic is a blessing and a curse. its a double edged sword.
Also, next year while i continue teaching by day, i am starting my Masters (by correspondence) in Adolescent Welfare so i can be a certified school counsellor & youth social worker. i want to keep teaching, but i want to branch out a bit. i will need many prayers from you guys when i start that, as my health is totally stuffed (see my signature) and it will be an exhausting process. but its something i really want. (i need 3 lots of surgery before april)
my teen years were horrendous- i should have got an oscar for my role in "popular, confident girl" which hid my role as "emotionally traumatised, mentally fragile girl." if i can feed off that experience and use it to help others then i will.
i pray we all have opportunities to be the light at the end of someones tunnel. i know that the comfort and support i have felt here has been exactly that- you guys show me the light when im trapped. and i thank you for it.
much love to all,
extra special helping for Sam, Kitt, Lyn and Meg
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, Polycystic Ovaries, Chronic ear/nose/throat infections, Panic Disorder, Reactive Arthritis, Agoraphobia, Migraines, GERD, Anaemia, Sinusitis, Chronically perforated eardrums, Pinched Nerves, IBS, Tachycardia, Allergies, Insomnia, Trichotilomania, Glandular Fever, Bursitis, Encapsulitis, Seasonal Mood Disorder, Mild OCD.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Nexium. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie. XX.