In Therapy but Doubtful

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 11/21/2008 2:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I started Therapy a few weeks ago, and my therapist is a man. Because I'm a girl, I have a lot of issues with body image. The reason Im going is for anxiety/depression but of course body image plays a role in that.
I don't want to discontinue going but I just feel so very uncomfortable talking to a man about certain things. I want to be honest, but I hold back just for the reason that he's a man. It's a little scary.
"Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 11/21/2008 2:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there- are you able to find a female therapist in your area? i know you dont want to offend your current therapist, but you need to feel comfortable and 100% safe. check your yellow pages directory, or the net and see if there are any women who offer the same service in your area. if he is a good therapist, he will understand that its important for you to see a woman. im sure if you told him some of your concerns, he would be very understanding.
fingers crossed!
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
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Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/21/2008 3:55 PM (GMT -6)   


Hey sweetie,  I am so with you on this, I had one male therapist and 2 female therapists.  First of all I want to know if any of the feamle therapist are my size...........and feel the way I do or understand it.  LOL. I am going to poll my next therapist, well they ask us all the questions.  Sound fair?

My male therapist  helped me a lot, but my second therapist just wanted to chat and tell her what goals I third therapist I liked the best. We got some work done and I found that my problems with my image of myself went all the way back to my childhood and the core values I was taought way back then.

If you want to see a female, find one.  You must have a trust relationship with your go girl.




Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 11/21/2008 5:46 PM (GMT -6)   
I want to second that finding one you feel comfortable with.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease
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Make sure your suffering has meaning...
All suggestions/options/opinions are caveated with please consult with your local health care provider...

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/22/2008 12:13 PM (GMT -6)   
HI there
Yes you really need to find a therapist that YOU
can talk to and be totally at ease with

I dont think it would offend this male therapist IF you were honest
about your reasoning
It is perfectly natural IMHO


PLZ do let us know k
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 11/22/2008 4:01 PM (GMT -6)   

I know it's unsettling thinking about switching to a different therapist. Try to remind yourself that you are in therapy to help yourself, and that it's okay to focus ENTIRELY on yourself there. You may fear offending your current therapist if you switch, or even if you're looking around for other therapists while still meeting with him. But what truly matters - to him as well as to you - is that you have a good environment for working through your issues. For instance, a rural doctor in an area with poor facilities would not be offended if a patient needed a specialist in an urban area with access to better facilities. Likewise, with therapy, which needs no equipment but our minds, a professional therapist will realize that some patients need something different from what he can offer.

With therapy, you don't have to settle for "But I had to work so hard just to find this one..." or "But some things work okay..." You may not recognize it, but your therapist is able to keep a personal distance in your relationship while still treating you for things that are intensely personal to you. I'd be extremely surprised if his feelings were hurt by a patient's desire to switch.

What matters to me is that you feel uncomfortable. Some might say that that's something else you should work through too. My advice is, you're in therapy to work on a specific issue, and there are other things getting a bit in the way right now. It's okay to switch if that allows you to focus on the hardest issues. Later on, maybe other things - like how do you "dump" your doctor :) - can come in. But for now, you need help with anxiety and body image, and you deserve the most productive environment possible for that.


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/23/2008 12:29 PM (GMT -6)   


Hey there, checking in with you.  Percy has a way with words, she is a wise and wonderful person.............she must be from the land of Oz.

We are all here to support you.




Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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