It kicks you. It has complete disregard for your feelings, your future, your hopes, dreams and goals.
It will dash these in a heartbeat and knock you when you are down for the count.
It can imprison you within your body, within your home, within your very existence.
But you cant see it, so people will make assumptions about you, categorize you, too smoothly and too readily.
You will be labelled. You will be missunderstood on more than one occasion.
You will apologise for your way of life, something you should never have to do.
Fears unknown will abound, filling your most quiet, private moments, never letting you breathe freely-
always mentally looking over your shoulder,
ready to go into battle
when the adrenaline kicks in
and kicks you.
Kick it back.
Do not let the fear trap you within yourself.
If its hard to love life, focus on living life- one day, one breath, one step, one moment at a time.
When you go to apologise for your illness, stop yourself-
you are worthy, your symptoms are real, your torment is evident.
Allow yourself the opportunity to mourn some of your freedom, some of your goals,
but dont sacrifice them completely. You are so much stronger than the sum of your parts.
Ask for help- fight this beast with all your might and when you are weary
let others fight it for you, with you, while they love you,
because no one knows panic like a fellow sufferer.
Some days you will feel swallowed, choked, beaten, bruised, fragile,
and thats ok-
because on other days you will triumph. you will live without fear.
You will conquer.
You are a survivor
You chose to kick it back.
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibro, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, Sinusitis, IBS, Allergies, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, Seasonal Mood Disorder, OCD.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.