Good afternoon everybody...
Long time no talk. It's been about
ten months since I last posted. A few here might remember me; stkitt and howlyncat, you two would often respond to my posts and give great advice.
I've come a long way since my last bout with anxiety and I've learned a lot about
exactly what's going on with me. I graduated from college about
a year and a half ago and with that my student counselling ended. I stopped going to therapy for a while but last December when my mother was diagnosed with cancer again I began to see a new counsellor. She and I had about
five sessions over the course of a month and we wound up discovering that the root of my problems seems to be an initial panic attack or attacks which then evolve into generalized anxiety for the next few weeks, during which time I feel like hell.
I've been on medication since February of 2007 for my anxiety. I'm currently on Celexa, and it seems to be working as over this past year I haven't had any anxiety attacks and the panic attacks I have experienced have only lasted a day or two. It's been a good year so far: new job, new girlfriend who I really think could be the one(I'm madly in love with her
), my mother reached the end of her chemotherapy treatments and so far is doing very well(she's so happy her hair has almost completely grown back!). I think one of my biggest accomplishments this year was taking a trip to Newport, RI in July to see all the big mansions and spend some time at the beach etc. While this might not sound like a big deal, for those of you who remember my posts from last year, one of my biggest fears has always been leaving home and/or disrupting my daily routine. While I had a HUGE panic attack the day before my girlfriend and I were due to drive up there, I forced myself to get through the initial attack and I'm happy to say we both had a wonderful weekend there. I came back feeling not only refreshed and ready to work, but more confident and proud of myself for being able to face down my fear. While it might seem terrifying and might make you want to run and hide in the biggest, softest bed you can find, covers over your head and all, this is something I strongly suggest anybody with travel anxiety do. I felt terrible the day before I left but the rewards after this trip were well worth it. I hadn't felt that self-confident and daring in ages.
Now, I don't know whether it's because we're closing in on the same time at which my mother was diagnosed with cancer last year or whether it's the holidays in general, but I've been feeling fairly anxious over the past few days. I had a panic attack last Thursday evening while watching my girlfriend at her practice(she ice skates), and since then I've had the usual: nausea in the morning, nagging worry to the point where I can't sit still, etc. The thing I seem to be most dreading is the onset of the Thanksgiving holiday. My family is great and I'm not stressed at all to hang out with them, but I'm just not looking forward to not working(I know, unbelievable right?), or seeing my girlfriend for several days. I think it's the daily routine being disrupted. I rarely have enough to do on my days off and I wind up getting bored.
three weeks ago I changed the time I take my dose of Celexa during the day from 7pm to 11:30pm, right before bed.
So, thoughts and comments would be wonderful. I'm sure lots of people here get holiday anxiety(Christmas shopping, eep!), so I'd like to hear your funny and/or whacky experiences and what you did to get over it, and also for anybody who's on Celexa and has changed the time they take it in the past, have you found that your anxiety has ramped up for a short time after you've done this, and how long did it last?
Thanks all, and good to be back after my long absence. Despite some of the doom and gloom in this post, lots and lots of great things happened this year, so if anybody is in need of hopeful stories, just ask and I'll make another post.