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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 491
   Posted 11/25/2008 8:24 AM (GMT -6)   
my dad's brother died yesterday of a sudden heart attack no history of heart problems either, tomorrow is his funeral, i so scared of going that i might loose control and started shaking bad or i don't know, to make it worse he looks like my dad, which is still alive, but to see him laying there is going to be horrible, i really liked my uncle and i probably not make much sense, but this is so hard to deal with, i pray that i never have to see one of my children die that would be the worst, and if i did i don't think i could survive it. i know alot of you have been through things like this and i don't know how you did it. i am sorry i am rambling , but i so don't want to deal with tomorrow. cry

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 11/25/2008 8:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes I have dealt with the deaths of many a loved one including my son
It is a hard thing to bury your child for sure
I have lost a hubby and both my parents and an aunt in the last few yrs........

Try to keep calm and remember him as he was and know
he is not in any pain nor is he suffering ....

I really have dealt with Slow death and sudden death and I am still waging a war as to which is harder to deal with

I know IMHO if you dont go you may never have proper closure but ultimately the decision has to come from you
Are you on meds for anxiety......

If you are on a short term med then I know if it were I I would be taking it
If not........ might be an idea to perhaps call your doc
and let him know that you have lost a loved one and
you need to take something to get you thru

Just a thought

My luv,thoughts heart and prayers are with you and your family at this time

God Bless

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 491
   Posted 11/25/2008 9:13 AM (GMT -6)   
i am going , i gotta be there for my dad, even though its hard, it would be better not to look, my grandpa wanted to be cremated and it was hard, but it was better in a sense i remember him as he was and not how they make them look in the casket, howlyncat you are so strong to have gone through what you have, i am so sorry for your losses to, especially your son. i am so glad i have all of you as my friends, where each others places to lean on. i'll talk to my doctor today and see what he says.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/25/2008 10:16 AM (GMT -6)   


You are like my daughter, she will go to the visitation but will not go look at the body as she becomes very anxious and turns cold and clammy.  So I support anyone who cannot actually look at the body but has been to the visitation to show their respect.

I have been to way to many, like Lyn I lost my son when he was 21 and my daughter held up.  We were unable to show Todd and I was not going to anyhow but God took that out of my decision making.

Bless you and I am praying for all of you.




Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 11/25/2008 7:26 PM (GMT -6)   

Machelle, my heart goes out to you at this time. i pray you get by, and have the strength to make it thru the day. i have also buried several family members in the not too distant past- in australia we have a culture that tends to have the casket closed at the funeral, which can make it less confronting. open casket funerals are in the minority here..

you will get thru this day, praying for you, sending healing peace your way- remember him fondly, the way he was. no one can rob you of your positive memories.

Maz XX

            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibro, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 11/25/2008 11:11 PM (GMT -6)   

I'll be thinking about you and praying for you tomorrow, that you'll be able to get through a very hard and sad occasion. Would it help to try to focus on your dad? I mean, try to think about what he's feeling, and what you could be doing while you're there to help him be strong? Maybe having something else important to think about will help to distract you some from feeling so anxious yourself.

Since it is your dad's brother, and it was so sudden, he likely is very upset too. Focus your attention on him - not scary "what if"s about the future, but what he might need right now, in the middle of a very sad loss.

I also think it's perfectly fine not to even walk past to view your uncle's body. I think you can just go in and sit somewhere where you can see your dad, and talk to the other relatives who will be around too.

Hugs and prayers for strength for you,

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 11/26/2008 9:13 PM (GMT -6)   
(((Machelle))) I am thinking of you and hope you will find strength at this painful time. My grandpa died suddenly of a heart attack 7 years ago with no history of the disease. It is a difficult experience and I know you miss your uncle very much right now. Being with your dad will help--I agree with Percycat that your dad is upset and that focusing on him will help both of you to help each other.

Peace and prayers for you and your family,

Dx Crohn's Disease 1996
Have taken Prednisone, Pentasa, Rowasa, and Asacol
Currently on Asacol 2400 mg daily to manage remission

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 491
   Posted 11/27/2008 3:36 PM (GMT -6)   
i made it through, it was hard seeing everyone around so sad, i have always absorbed others pain, which makes it worse , my dad seems to be holding his pain in, and my aunt his wife just walking around in a state of shock, its so hard to see your loved ones like that, thanks for your prayers
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