I was in a position like yours and I just want to mention to be very careful for job burnout. When your whole life is your job and you are worrying about it on weekends and crying before you have to go to work it is time to take a step back and decided if your stressing way to much.
Also work on that self esteem.........so you made the comment, many of us get tongue tied when talking to the CEO and say something that comes out sounding wrong to our ears. He probably did not even care.
My staff used to tell me all the time " that is why you get the big bucks" I just laughed and said yes and I deserve them for all I do. They would then reply with "I wouldn't take your job, it doesn't pay enough for all the headaches you have to put up with"
Yep, I had unions, and staffing and performance evaluations and payroll and lots of meetings, chairperson for emergency preparedness............staff meetings, leadership meetings, and on and on................I would come to work at 0630 and rarely left until 1600. I was salaried. No overtime like the unions.............but it was my choice and I managed for many years.
Talk to us about your fears and maybe we can give you tips on how to decrease the anxiety.