Fighting Anxiety Almost Everyday

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 12/12/2008 2:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Just wanted to vent about how I'm feeling and sometimes don't feel like anyone understands.  Went through a severe bout of anxiety due to my own illness which in turn caused depression. Currently on an anti-depressant which for the most part keeps my anxiety levels manageable.
Anyway, just recently my sister was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and is currently undergoing chemotherapy.  I find it so very emotional when I see her but try and stay strong.  Sometimes I feel so guilty and feel so lost inside but try very hard to keep positive and keep my anxiety levels and not go down the health anxiety road myself.  I know at this time I have to be strong but sometimes I find it sooo hard.
Anyway, this post probably doesn't make a lot of sense but just needed somewhere to vent and maybe someone will understand.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/12/2008 3:02 PM (GMT -6)   

Eugenia i am so sorry your sister is suffering. she is in the hands of excellent physicians who will do their very best to help her. Of course its hard for you to see that and be around it, what a painful thing to experience.

you have come to the right forum, as we all suffer anxiety here and panic, and we understand what its like to live with it. this is a place of support and caring. non judgemental people who are sincere and helpful. i am so glad you found us, continue to post, i know others will reply and repsond as soon as they can. your post made plenty of sense.

peace and blessings, Maz XX

            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.

Green Grove
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 12/12/2008 5:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Eugenia :)

I am very glad to meet you, and I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I just said a prayer for the both of you and your family :)

Good luck!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort :)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 717
   Posted 12/12/2008 6:17 PM (GMT -6)   


I can relate to what you are going through right now.  My sister died of pancreatic cancer in May and my father in law was just diagnosed with lymphoma and will be starting chemo on Tuesday.  I am very close to my inlaws and getting this diagnosis has really thrown me.  I understand how hard it is to put on a brave face when you are with your sister, as I do the same with my father in law.  Then I come home and have a good cry.  It's okay to feel whatever you are feeling, try not to surpress your feelings, sometimes you may have to wait until you are alone, but there's nothing wrong with a good cry, rant, whatever you need.

You have to remember to really take care of yourself right now, be there for your sister, of course, but do some special things for you to help ease the emotional tension.  What do you like to do?  Do you have any hobbies, like to read, write ?  Anything that you enjoy, take the time to do it as often as you can, it will not only help to release the anxiety, but will keep your mind occupied for a little while and let you refresh yourself.  (and keep your mind off the health anxiety what ifs)

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this, and I will pray for your sister and for you.  Keep posting here and letting us all know how you are doing.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/12/2008 6:51 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear eugenia

Welcome to HealingWell and something must have brought us together.  Yes, my sister is fighting ovarian cancer.  Our oldest sister died on Thanksgiving 2007 and in August of this year my only other sister was flown from North Dakota to the U of MN Hospital. She has been here 112 days now and I  have spent many nights sleeping on floors and in lounges or on a matteress next to her bed in her room.

Her daughter has been with her and we are her 2 care givers.  She is scared to be alone in the hospital, she has been in and out many times and when out she out of the hospital she is living at the Cancer's Hope Lodge.

She is having her last chemo today and then she gets to go home to ND for Christmas.  She will be back in about 15-20 days and then a surgical date will be set.

I have stood at her bedside when she was on a vent and I broke down as it was repeating the same scenario with my older sister.

You don't have to be strong all the time. All you have to do is be there for her.

Some days before I head up to the hospital I will have an anxiety attack wondering how I can make that drive again.  When the phone rings in the middle of the night I am on full alert with a pounding heart.

I am with you all the way on this one. I know your sister must love you very much and it is ok to let her know you are sad and afraid for her but then use some humor to.

I will rub my sister's bald head for good luck I tell her.

I also refer to MN as her home now so when she heads out to North Dakota I will say hurrry home cus I will miss you.

Hang on sweetie and know I am here.  I do know what your living with.

Gentle Hugs



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 12/12/2008 7:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank-you everyone for your replies.  I feel so alone with my feelings as I'm so trying hard not to go down the path of anxiety.  I spent nearly a year trying to cope with my own illness and I feel just as I am getting back on my feet -- WHAM -- I just feel so off balance right now.  Scared for my sister but also frightened for me.  I know that sounds so selfish and I would never admit that to my husband as he thinks I'm totally crazy the way I reacted to my own health scare.  Everytime I voice anything about how I feel I am shut down. I find this forum very helpful to be able to be free and vent exactly how I feel and not be shut down.  That is so important right now for me as I feel there is no where else to turn.  So thank-you again. I know my sister will get through this and I am her only family member out here so I know I need to be strong and supportive and I don't need my own fears to rear their head.
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