COMPLETE AND UTTER SUCCESS!!!!!!!!
not ONCE did i have an anxious moment. i relished every second, had SO much fun. i stopped and thought about the fact that i felt GREAT and couldnt believe i had worked myself into a state about something that was so much fun. Old Maz came back- the extrovert party girl let loose and had a BLAST.
thankyou so much, ALL of you, but Fitz, Mary, Kitt, Nikki- you guys are fabulous.
the way i felt last night, i have not felt that GOOD in years. i didnt want the night to be over (although my broken body was screaming for bed, lol) i just lived in the moment and felt nothing other than NORMAL, loved, fun. my friends made it really clear how important it was to them that i was there... they made me feel so special and wanted and needed- they also told me how proud they were that i work full time with tough teens when i am so physically sick- they remember what i was like at my sickest (chronic fatigue- disability pension at age 20) and they cant believe how ive bounced back and they just heaped on the praise for being so 'strong, passionate, determined.' it made me want to cry, warm gooey tears.
the food was sensational- Italian. i usually dont eat much at restaurants because if i feel full, then i panic about vomiting etc, but last night i got stuck in with gusto. even though im overweight, i felt pretty last night- new dress, shoes, hair, manicure- cos my friends are so skinny and perfect, im always aware that my meds made me bigger, but last night, i did NOT feel self concious, i felt PRETTY and special. and when i was paid a compliment, i took it, rather than saying 'no- im fat'.
thankyou ALL, each and every one of you who responded to my post- your positive thoughts, comments, advice and prayers are a huge part of my 'night of success'. you each made it just a little bit easier with your kind words. i CANNOT thank you enough.
its 6am here and ive had maybe 2hrs sleep, but i wanted to jump on and share with you guys just how amazing my night was.
im grateful beyond words. Maz XX
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOD, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS, Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo, Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.