I HATE THIS. I am so mad. Mad at myself for PANICKING OVER NOTHING.
I had to go to the dentist today (I just went on Thurs. of last week, but he noticed that I had a small cavity in my wisdom tooth, and didn't have time to just get it done then -which I would have preferred- so I had to make ANOTHER appt.). Yea, and another appt. means more anxiety (anticipating the appt.) and THEN another visit.
I was so proud of myself for making it through the last appt. I used to seriously FEAR going to the dentist, and I had a GREAT, COMPASSIONATE dentist throughout my entire childhood. So I really didn't even have much basis for my fear. Since becoming an adult, I've had to switch dentists (I don't even live in the same city anymore and I hadn't been to one since, say 16, which is almost 10 years ago). Well, this guy turned out to be nice, and like I said, the last appt. went pretty darn well. I was ok. I didn't really freak out!!!
Yea ok...not today. He freaking numbed me WAY TOO MUCH. I HATE medicine in general. I am really scared of all medicine. EVEN TYLENOL. I am scared it will kill me. So it took A LOT of courage to even let him numb me up. I am not scared of the actual shot. That I can totally deal with, with relatively little to no anxiety or problem. Last time he numbed me up, I was a little uncomfortable, but I could deal. I was fine within the hour, and all was basically ok. Not a big deal.
This time, he got my whole freakin' inside of my mouth numb... I thought I was having an allergic reaction (which is what I fear the most) to the medicine, because it felt like I couldn't swallow and like my tongue and throat was closing up! It has been over an hour now since getting the shot (the actual procedure only took like 5 or 10 minutes), and now my right side of my face, all the way to my ear, is numb. I seriously cannot feel a thing.
I HATE THIS SO MUCH. I hate not being able to FEEL my mouth. My lips. It makes me want to cry! I tried to hold it together, because my 3 yr old daughter was there with me, and I didn't want her to see me get all upset (even though it wasn't because of the DENTIST himself, but rather the numbness part), because then SHE will have the same fear of dentists that I had, and I don't want there for her. So I tried to smile and keep my cool. It was REALLY hard. I kept thinking 'what if my throat closes off?!'.
"What if I just pass out here?"
What if, what if, what if?!?!?!?!
The bottom edge of my tongue is just so numb, I really have to CONCENTRATE to swallow.
And the thing is, he only gave me ONE shot. Just like the last time. AND even though I was numb to the max, I STILL felt a good portion of drilling/pain. I just didnt say anything because I didnt want to feel EVEN MORE numb with another shot. Id rather deal with the pain! Why did it have so a different effect this time? Am I developing an allergy to it? What is going on? They said that the numbness should go away within an hour or so...but it hasn't!! I know, rationally, that if I were to have a serious allergic reaction, it would've happened within minutes, if not seconds, of receiving it, but it's still in the back of my mind.
Have any of you had this feeling? I really don't think it is my anxiety causing this numbness. It REALLY is numb. As in, I seriously do not have any sensation whatsoever. I can still move my face around...but it's still really scary to me.
I hate being out of control. I don't like not being able to control my own body. :sigh: I really hope this feeling (or lack thereof) is gone by the time I go to sleep tonight.
Thanks for letting me vent. No one around me understands and thinks I am just crazy.
Mommy to 4 kids, ages 5 and under. Yep, I'm crazy. In more than one way!
Post Edited (YaGirlC) : 12/15/2008 2:50:27 PM (GMT-7)