thank you all so much for your warm welcome!
jennifer-i had one of those books, too, and one of my new year's resolutions was to throw that puppy straight in the garbage! isn't it amazing how those things can get us going??
maz-thanks! hey, i've seen your name around the fibro forum, too, i believe. you're from australia, correct?
aries-thank you! i think it's a nice name, too:) also, i took your advice and wrote down the events of the past and boy oh boy did that
open a can of worms! i went back about
a year and a half, and this was my list:
memorial day '07: my beloved maternal grandfather passed away
june/july/august '07: my husband and i both quit our jobs to run a business my in-laws purchased
september '07: my paternal grandfather passed away. i wasn't particularly close to him, but did have a lot of emotional issues to work out because of him. his death hit me pretty hard because of that.
december '07: my mother in law had a hysterectomy and couldn't work at the business anymore. while she was gone my husband and i discovered that she had made a total mess of the bank account and was racking up upwards of $1,500 a month in overdraft fees.
jan/feb/march/april/may '08: business kept getting worse and worse. more overdrafts. no money. our paychecks started bouncing.
may '08: my brother in law was wrongfully accused of a crime he didn't commit and went to jail
june '08: in laws were forced to file bankruptcy. hubby and i bought company and moved it into our home
july/aug '08: spent trying to put together good defense for brother in law. LOTS of stress and worry.
sept '08: brother in law's trial. found guilty. trial included very questionable actions by judge and prosecutor, but no one could do anything about
it. hubby and i also started back to school full time.
oct/nov '08: holidays-always stressful!
dec '08: brother in law sentenced to prison for 3 years. christmas, also always stressful!
so, um..yeah lol. looking back, it's really no wonder i've been having anxiety and panic issues again!! i mean, of course i knew all of this was going on, but it just felt like i was getting through day to day as best as i can. it feels quite different to put it all in order and step back and look at it that way, you know? it's just been-wow! thing after thing after thing for quite some time now.
not sure how to break the anxiety and panic cycle now. things are now sort of on a more even keel, i guess, and i suppose now i need to work through the past year and half somehow.
love and hugs
this being human is a guest house.
every morning a new arrival-a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awarenewss comes as an unexpected visitor.
welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably
he may be clearing you out
for some new delight. ~rumi
Post Edited (SleepyBug) : 1/5/2009 5:22:08 PM (GMT-7)