Thank u so much for your replies. I agree, writing is an excelent way to get it all out. I'm actually a musician and sat down and played my piano last night. What is bothering me the most right now is....MONEY. I can't stand is much longer. I have to go back to school because I am 27 and live at home, and it is going to cost me 12,000 dollars to do this, which I dont have. And the thought of having to be in debt that much money and paying it all back within the next 10 years does not thrill me. I feel as though I am in bondage to money for the rest of my life. I go to school and get a job just so I can pay back the money it cost me to get a job in the first place. That makes no sense to me. But what can I do? I have to have a career. So that is stressing me the most.
Then there is my health. I have reflux disease, which cant be controlled by diets or meds. Ive tried everything, to make a long story short. I am suffering.
And then there is this other factor. Well, I'll try to explain. I have been single for 7 years. Praying for the right one to come into my life. Well, last week I met this wonderful guy. And u know how that goes. You get all excited cause you think he's the one, and then you doubt it, and then you dont know what to do cause u dont want to waste your time and get hurt. So that is were I am at right now, a big pile of confusion. I am so confused about everything. Its so hard to get into details but I was really angry last night cause I feel like my mind is being played games with again. Like what always happens to me. I think I have had it with guys.
So last night i just started to have this huge anxiety attack, jumped in the shower, helped a lot. I hate this. Why does life have to be like this? What is wrong with me? I feel so stupid and like such a waste. I really just wish something would make sense to me.
Thank u all for reading this, sorry to bother u with my problems I just really lost ti last night