I had my second child in the summer when I was 22 and it was very hot when I was expecting that summer. I remember
we had a week when the temperature was up to 105 several
times. We had just moved into a house and did not have an
air conditioner plus the plumbing was broken. We were renting
at that time and had to wait until the landlord could get the
plumbing fixed. Several times I remember putting the dirtydishes in a clean tub of scalding water and washing and rinsing them on my knees in the bathroom. My daughter was born in late summer and after several months passed I experienced some incidents that would have alerted a person who knew what anxiety was. Unfortunately, I did not, so when these things passed, I quickly forgot about them. I had a new baby, a four year old son and a husband at the time and had planned to return to work part time. I remember going to the laundrymat one evening around October and for some reason after putting my clothes in the washers, I kept wishing they would hurry and finish. When I took them out, I put them in the dryer and then left with them not quite dry and ended up having to lay them out at home and press things that wouldn't have needed pressing. I remember running the sweeper one day and then sitting down in the kitchen only to notice how fast my heart was pumping and wondered about it because I didn't think I had worked that hard. One night after my husband and children were in bed for the night, I began painting the basement steps I started at the top and was painting down and as I painted, one or twice I remember turning around because I kept having the feeling
that someone was behind me. about the third time it happened, it frightened me so that I threw the paint brush,
ran up the steps and found myself standing in behind the kitchen door with my heart racing. But as time went on, I eventually finished painting the steps and several other areas of the basement. It was around this time that a man killed some student nurses several hundred miles from where we lived and since we lived right outside of town on a highway which crossed over to the railroad tracks, I began thinking, " What if." What if the man who did this to those student nurses hopped on a freight train and ended up in our neighborhood.
It was winter then, dark when my husband left for work and dark when he came home. I was there with the children most days without a car and found myself being fearful a lot. But then they caught the man who did this terrible thing, and the holidays came and went and soon I was starting back to work.
It was one evening in early January and I had been working for almost two hours when I noticed that the flourescent lighting seemed to be causing things to look darker to me, plus I hadn't been feeling very well. I remember looking over at the lady I was working with and I said, " I don't feel right." Then,
she looked up at me, she said, "You are really white, please sit down. " But I didn't want to sit down, I felt like I wanted to run, but I did go and sit down and as soon as I did, my heart began beating so fast I thought I was having a heart attack and when it wouldn't slow down, I was taken by ambulance to the hospital quite alarmed at what was happening to me and then I remembered that day was also my 23rd birthday.
After that night, over the next six months, I was in and out of
five different hospitals for test, treatments and started on different medications all to no avail. I ended up back home and the panic attacks (which started the night I was taken to the emergency room) were such a part of my life that I lived in a constant state of panic waiting for the next one to happen.
A big part of my life is in the years between that period of time and the summer my son graduated from high school when I went to a new doctor who started me on the MAO Inhibitor, Nardil. After I had been on this medication for a little over three weeks, I never had another panic attack and I have been taking it for over twenty five years now. I still have a hard time dealing with a lot of stress and I don't always handle things the way I would like to all of the time, but I am so grateful to God for the Nardil.
Is there anyone else on this forum who is taking an MAO