Its 4am and i cant sleep cos im so sick. my face is swollen from sinusitis, i have now ruptured BOTH eardrums. i have pharyngitis, so swallowing hurts like hell. i have a grinding migraine that has been wearing me down for days now. the only respite i get is when i am asleep, but things are so bad at the moment that i cant even do that. the intense heatwave we have been experiencing has caused my fibro to flare, along with reactive arthritis. in reality, i feel swollen head to toe, and like ive been hit by a bus. i have glandular fever and a bronchial infection and im sure i have kept mum and dad awake with my 'barking sea lion' cough.
i am so thoroughly tired of this- when it effects my sleep, my anxiety levels rise tenfold.
i am at the end of my rope- it hurts being this sick all the time and it messes with my head- all the meds im on (opiates for pain etc) dont really stop the pain, they just put my head in a happy place- but its very temporary.
*Also, i feel guilty for posting this as our precious Meg is back in hospital, and im saying prayers for her, and also for Gail's mum (nanners) as well as Kitt's sister Bev, and our own Lyn who has had a rough time.
Kitt, Sam & Mary have seen photos of what i look like at the moment- a hideous swamp monster with melons for glands and painful facial swelling along with all the e.n.t stuff. poor people, i probably terrified them! lol.
Im not here for a pity party, i tried to read myself back to sleep- no avail. been watching season 7 of CSI- no avail. so i thought i would jump on here as i know my HW family will be around and i can just get all this off my chest.
a person can only take so much before depression due to circumstances kicks in. im strong and im a fighter and i HATE that these multiple viruses and infections that have made me feel this way, have made me weak. im exhausted, but my pain is stronger than my need for sleep- wishing the pain meds would kick in NOW.
I apologise in advance if this seems like a pity party- its 4am and i didnt know where else to go and i know you guys are supportive. im just so totally over this. its been a month now and no improvement. very frustrating.
Am going to watch tv again and hopefully nod off. i got up and made a decaff chai tea and am hoping to get to the land of slumber SOON!
thanks for letting me vent. you guys rock.
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo, Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.