Still Sober, but...

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/19/2009 3:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi guys, I know the last post I made was so positive and happy but unfortunatley I didn't realise by doing something as good as getting help for giving up heavy drinking would open a whole new can of worms...
I feel so good in many ways but I have had some horrible panic attacks and crazy thoughts. The docs have put me on a high dose Antidepressant and Naltrexone to refrain from alcohol, the worst thing for me though is that they have perscribed me valium and I have been using it, and maybe abusing it.
If I have said the wrong thing and broken any rules by saying that, I appologise and  understand if you have to delete this.
 I am now on a withdrawl program from the valium and Im scared as I have one of those very addictive personalities and have used the valium to replace the alcohol.What will I replace the valium with??? I am attending an AA meeting on wednesday and I hope they will guide me in the right direction.
Do u have any suggestions?? I know all the normal ones like..Excercise and Relaxation Techniques. It is just that I get so lonley as I am in a custody and Property settlement battle with the X-hubby and I have isolated myself from the world...I moved away with the kids to a town only an hour away from the x-hubby about 6 months ago and they had to be returned two months later as legally I was not allowed to move away from that town without his concent...I am moving back in 5 weeks but I only see my babies on the weekends until then and so I hurt all week long.
I am a sitting duck just waiting for the funds to come through and for my life to get back on track....WOW!!  Im sorry that was a big mumble jumble of wacky crap comming out of my mind to my fingers but I am confused, scared and concerned at the way my moods are!  Everything has changed in 12 days staying sober


"Our greatest problems in life come not

so much from the situations we confront

as from our ability to handle them"


Post Edited (gilly-love) : 1/19/2009 3:03:57 AM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 1/19/2009 5:42 AM (GMT -6)   

Be proud of your sobriety! i know its early days, but you are doing so well. i too have an addictive personality- think the best person to work out your meds with is a pyschiatrist. if you fear becoming dependant on valium, let him/her know that it concerns you. they may be able to suggest an alternative.

I am so sorry to hear that you dont get to see your kids as much as you would like. im not a mother, so i cant imagine the pain this must cause you.

Please hang in there, you are doing so well at the moment, even if it doesnt feel like it! stay in touch, keep us posted and know that im thinking of you, :-) Always-

Maz XX

            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7350
   Posted 1/19/2009 9:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Gilly

You are doing really well and as Maz says be proud of your sobriety I know how hard it is to quit drinking. I agree with Maz talk to your doctor if you have concerns about becoming dependant you can do this Gilly and we are all behind you 100%.

Take Care


Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/19/2009 10:16 AM (GMT -6)   

Gilly,  Remember to take it one day at a time, one tiny step at a time and perhaps concentrate on getting sober first before you start worrying about an addiction to Valium........what is your prescribed dose and what are you using..........Be honest and straight forward with your physician about what you are using.

An addiction is much different then using illegal drugs for  recreation. Increasingly, research is demonstrating that the treatment of alcohol and drug addiction must include the treatment of mental disorders because of the co-occurences of these problems. In other words, it is not possible to treat alcohol and drug addiction without also treating the mental problems.

I would like to suggest that you go to AA meetings daily no matter how tough it is.  Also have you ever been in a treatment program, in house treatment.  I am from MN and we jokingly refer to MN, the Land of 10,000 treatment programs............

Truly we are fortunate to be home to Hazelden Treatment Center.  I am going to give you the link to their site as they have an online feature that has great tips and you can sign up for their  daily motivational quotes.  I am signed up for them and they are very helpful.

Please know we are all here supporting you and your battle is a tough one, but I know you will make it through.

Gentle Hugs



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 204
   Posted 1/20/2009 4:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the replys and support guys I am being honest to the docs and they have been really understand..As I mentioned i have my first AA meeting tomorrow night and am really looking forward to it!! I will stay stron and things will work out fine ...Well better than fine. Things will be just dandy! Thanks friends...Ps. Jessy, You seem so wise for your age...You have given great advice. x


"Our greatest problems in life come not

so much from the situations we confront

as from our ability to handle them"


Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 1/20/2009 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Gilly -

I know exactly how you are feeling. When I first quit drinking, my thoughts/anxiety seemed to get worse. I thought my head was going to explode! I had a hard time doing anything - even the most basic of tasks. I assumed that when I quit drinking, I would feel better.

I have come to learn and believe that alcoholism is a disease. Regardless of how you ended up as an alcoholic, like self medicating anxiety, the disease is still the same. For me, alcohol was the medicine and when I took that away, the disease was untreated. This is where the racing thoughts and awful feelings are coming from. Your disease is not getting its medicine - alcohol. Twelve step programs, like AA, teach you how to treat your disease without the alcohol.

I have almost 7 years sober and I still go to meetings, I have a sponsor and these days, I sponsor other women. The steps have given me a new life. Now, I will not tell you it is all a bed of roses. Life still happens - we just learn how to live without self-medicating. These days, my anxiety leads me to places like healing well to deal with my issues - not a bottle.

Good luck at your meeting....please reach out and tell someone you are new. They will help you.
35 year old female (newly married) - Diagnosed w/Crohn's 2002 - Surgery 2004

Currently taking: Pentasa, Entocort, Imuran, Zoloft, Seroquel & Ativan as needed

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 1/20/2009 10:45 AM (GMT -6)   

We are all right here with you, my friend, every step of the way. Kam's advice, and everyone else's seems very sound to me, and I hope you'll be able to get more local support through the AA program. I'm so glad you're excited about it.

You definitely have a lot of stressors happening in your life right now, and I'll bet concern for your children is at the very top. Try to trust that the system, slow and impersonal though it seems, will create a setting that is safe and reliable for you and them. Once the agreements are in place, *you* have the force of the law on your side as well.

I'm proud to hear how brave and proactive you're being regarding your divorce and care for your kids.

Good luck to you, my friend!



Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum

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