The nighttime is terrible for me too - like as soon as the sun sets, the anxeity/depression starts. It's definitely connected to the daytime/sunlight - sunsets make me sad, literally (has bizarre connection to fear of death, ending, etc. I'm sure, but that's too deep right now!). I try to stay busy - exercise, make dinner, read, watch tv - anything to keep me moving & active until I crash into bed.
I'm so sorry to hear about
your break-up - that's a long time to be with someone...and even though it was your decision, it doesn't change how hard it is not to be able to call on that person for support or connection.
I'm similar in that I never want to "bother" friends or family with issues - they likewise see me as super happy go lucky, in control and so forth. But I have found that
opening up to them is WAY better, so I have forced myself to be more honest with them and share more of what is going on with me.
One of my closest girlfriends had a horrible breakup a few years ago...she just couldn't get over it and after several months, she was ready to move on. She ended up joining a 12 week group therapy session for "life issues" at a local behavioral health clinic and she loved it. By the end, she felt confident, happy and at peace with her decision. Maybe that might be something to try?
Hang in there! You sound like a normally super positive person, if it weren't for those darn evenings! I'm there with you.
Panic Attacks (since age 10) & General Anxiety with a little OCD thrown in there
Biggest Challenge - Panic; Biggest Joy - my 3 cute kiddos (ages 1, 2 & 5)