Hi everyone.. I've been lurking around the forums for a while.. this is my first post. First and Foremost, thank you EVERYONE. I have found so much strength here. It's good to know that I'm not alone in my fight.
For several years now I have been off meds and kept my anxiety well under control. I started back to work in Jul 08 (my anxiety attacks were so bad at one point I couldn't keep a job) I'm starting to feel it creeping back in again, I think is started when I accepted a managment position at work. My job is very easy, even the managing part, but my boss is......well a stress point I think. I get very sick to my stomach when I need to talk to him, or deal with him, or when I see his number on the caller Id. I've had near constant diarreah for the last 3 mos. (since I took the position) I do NOT want to go back on medication There is alot on my plate atm, I think that might be a part, but I was doing fine with everything until I had to start working closely with this boss. He's outwardly very nice, doesn't yell or get mean or act inappropriatly. He just has this aire about him that makes me want to vomit. Am I doing this to myself? I keep asking myself, "Am I just tired, and blaming my boss?" I feel like the stomach problems are draining my energy. (Dr. said he thought it was nerves)
I'm afraid to tell my husband I want to quit. He went through years with me not even able to leave the house to get groceries , let alone get to work. I don't want him to think I'm falling down again , but I don't know how much longer I can continue in this direction before I break. I want to stay strong. I can feel it.. moving slowly like an evening shadow. If I get out now, and move to a job where I don't want to puke on my boss, I feel I can push it back down again... I don't know.. I just needed to vent this I guess. Thank you for listening