Thank you all for your understanding and wonderful responses. I hope they don't leave me in the morgue like one poster posted, lol! I know I will definately be facing surgery down the road, and I want to be as pro-active as possible. I don't want to dwell on it too much (ie. Stay in the moment, etc,) but I want to prepare myself as much as possible.
I would certainly try hypnosis. I would try anything to help conquer this fear. My fears are:
1. Not being put under "all the way."
2. Dying during surgery. (I have a big fear of death, even though I'm a Christian.)
3. Feeling out of control. I don't take any pain medicines because I hate the way they make me feel. It's like handing me a "cup of panic, lol!"
4. Having to stay in the hospital. I need to be home. Even though I work, I can leave at any time and come home, my "safe place."
5. Waking up intubated. (On a breathing machine.)
I think the biggest thing I have working against me is that I know too much. I am an Occupational Therapist and an LPN. I work in a hospital, for pete's sake! Sometimes too much knowledge can be bad for you.....
I could go on and on, but don't want to bore everyone.....
Thank you SO MUCH for listening. I am truly grateful.
Diagnosed with Crohn's March 2006, Fibromyalgia November 2008
Asacol 3 times a day, Remicade 10mg/kg every 4 weeks, Prednisone 10 mg, Miralax, Prevacid 30mg, Vit B12, Vitamin D, Slow-FE (Iron), Hydrocortisone enemas
Imuran stopped 9/8/08 (possible Pancreatitis)
Paxil 40mg daily (for Panic disorder)
Xanax .5mg as needed (for anxiety attacks)