In need of positive enforcement..

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 3/4/2009 4:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everyone,
Ive been doing pretty good with my anxiety, but Im in a wierd funk today...first of all my boyfriend and I got into a small argument last night and although we made up, I still have a little chip on my shoulder about it. Also, my step dad called me this morning to tell me that my mothers alcohal problem has gotten worse and he wants me to do something about it...(i live in WI they live in FL) yeah... all he did is burden me with his problem and make me worried about my mother, when there is nothing i can do... also, i decided to call the dr because ive had this wierd, very light ache near my hip bone, when i call to ask what the dr thought, she immediately told me that i should come in and take a look at it because its in my pelvic area. Now im freaked out that there is something wrong with me and I cant stop thinking about it. My usual anxiety symtoms are arising...throat feels funny, cant concentrate because all i can think about is what if... my dr appt is not until friday..any one have some encouraging words for me?? smhair

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 3/4/2009 4:53 PM (GMT -6)   
First off sweetie take a deep breath!!! I can relate to the little chip feeling as I too got upset with my husband lastnight. Usually when we make up though I feel somewhat better. Hopefully when you get home tonight and he gives you a hug that will go away. As for your Mom, there is nothing you can do from that far away, so I would not let this upset you. You are not the parent here and are not responsible for your Mothers actions. And no one can fix your Mom's drinking problems, but her. And I personally think it is wrong for your Stepdad to put this responsibility on your shoulders. He lives with her and is her spouse, he should be the one helping your Mom. JMHO

As for your hip, I would not get yourself all worked up about this until you talk to your doctor. It could just be something as simple as you slept wrong or a simple muscle pull. Kick that stinking thinking to the curb. You will be alright, I am sure of it.

Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 3/5/2009 11:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kate,

I agree with Nanners 100%.

Don't let your stepfather put this responsibility on you. You can always call and talk to your mom, just to feel the situation out. Let her know that you care about her, but as Nanner's said, only your mom can fix your mom. That isn't your responsibility. Just let her know that you care.

I too had a chip on my shoulder from a little thing that went on with my husband last night, but by morning I forgot about it. It isn't worth being mad, life is too short.

Friday is only a couple of days away. I wouldn't worry too much about the pain. Like as was stated above, you could have pulled a muscle or slept wrong. I hope that the pain subsides for your comfort.

Try to stay in the now and in the moment. Focus on the situation at hand. Breathe, you will be fine. We are all here for you so keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 70
   Posted 3/5/2009 2:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Hang in there! You WILL be fine!

Both of my parents were alcoholics, and I know it's tough, especially when others want you to "take care of the problem".
But you know what?

1. Someone else's drinking problem is NOT your drinking problem.
2. Only that person can decide to change. Nothing you COULD do would change them.

We have a wonderful gift, and that gift is called love. The best part about love is that you can give and give and never run out! Love your dad, love your boy friend, but most of all, love yourself. And please know that you are cared about here, and I know we're all wishing you good things. =)

This may all sound quite trite, but they are simple truths that we often lose sight of.

Everyone has posted such great stuff about the pain issue. Listen to them. They know what they're talking about.

"Come to the edge," he said.
"We're afraid!" they replied.
"Come to the edge," he said.

He pushed them, and they flew...

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/5/2009 2:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I am a sober alcoholic and my drinking was MY problem no one
elses and I find it so unfair that you
be put in this issue
YOUR mom will hit bottom and then she will get help I pray for
You and yours

KNOW you are not responsible plz
Love you and love them as their daughter not as their problem fixer

I am sure that you will find it isnt as bad as ya think when you get to the doc and I do hope the pain does take off for you .......

 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         

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