Fugs, I so appreciate your response.
You're most certainly welcome. It makes me feel great whenever I can help someone even in some small way.
As far as being "too strong"...I never looked at it that way.... But it is a way of life for me and I thought I had adjusted to it...I would think my heart would adjust to it as well since it is a part of me.
I think that's the way it happens. Without you consciously realizing it taking on all that responsibility becomes a way of life. I won't repeat everything, but look at how many things you just wrote about
. I'm sure there are plenty of others you didn't mention as well. But what were you going to do... let your kids fend for themselves? Have a toilet that doesn't work? You did what you felt you had to do given the available options at the time. For that don't beat yourself up. At the same time, your kids are older now and just as you were there for them maybe now they need to be there for you. Obviously if one is away at college there may be less around the house stuff that he can help with during the academic year. But you know them and you know their strengths. Maybe one is good at research and can help find low-cost or free medical and/or counseling services. Another may be more mechanical and can help with some of the around the house chores that will only become more difficult as you get older (fixing something, putting boxes in an attic, mowing the lawn...). It doesn't have to be anything major. Even small acts of help can lighten your workload and thus your stress levels (with responsibility comes the stress of "having" to get things done - and you've been doing it ALL yourself.)
Okay...getting back to the soy. Do you think there are more pros than cons? Do you think hormonal changes affect the heart and contribute to the palpitations. Or do you think every bit of it is stress and anxiety? All this sporadic thumping cant be good for the heart and possibly other organs...wont it wear it down eventually? Do you think this is a forever thing or that it will go away someday? (hopefully before I die so I can enjoy life more!!) I know you cant answer all these questions but if you could give your personal opinion on some of them that would be appreciated. Well, time to go...Ive said enough for tonight. Tune in tomorrow night for the next chapter!!! See....I do try to make light of all this!!
First, I would say keep up the positive attitude. A positive attitude won't make the anxiety disappear, but it will certainly help. There is no reason why the rest of your life can't be enjoyable. As far as hormonal changes relating to heart palpitations.... I don't know. I don't have a medical background and I honestly have no idea. I do believe that it's certainly possible
that it could be all related to stress. You have a lot going on being out of work, worrying about
your health now, still raising three boys, stressing about
money (food, tuition, etc.), being a single parent, keeping up the house...
It's my opinion that we as humans are very strong and adaptable. We can adjust to many situations (just as you did following your divorce). At the same point we all have our breaking points. I was working three part-time jobs and still not paying the bills, having structural issues with an apartment I was in, neighbors being arrested, feeling that I was going nowhere in terms of a relationship or a career... I handled it well for over a decade. Then we had a death in the family and I moved in to take care of the house and get away from the structural issues of the apartment. Suddenly I was commuting further to jobs I didn't like, I was in a new and not so safe neighborhood, I felt extremely alone and isolated, etc. It was then that my anxiety peaked and I realized I needed to make some changes. I could've handled any one of those issues or the ten other issues I left out - but when they all come down on you at once it becomes overwhelming and the anxiety can be your body's way of crying out for help. Even just acknowledging that and talking or writing about
those feelings would reduce my physical symptoms of anxiety. Though counseling is far more beneficial and something I recommend to everyone.
Is this a forever thing? Well, different people will have different answers to that one. My own view is that you can overcome anxiety and stop having panic attacks, but that it may still continue to be a part of your life. It may go into remission for years and years, but if enough or the right stressors come up down the road you might find the anxiety returning. Hopefully though at that point you'll be in a better place to address it, no longer afraid of panic attacks, knowledgeable about
how to handle them, how to reduce anxiety, and calm yourself down, etc.
the soy, it's like anything else in that there are benefits but it's not perfect. Because of the phytoestrogens men for instance are usually encouraged not to have as much. Though they benefit from the protein, they don't want too much additional estrogen. If you are allergic then it may not be an option for you. If that's a concern I would suggest starting with small amounts. In the study I cited before, while a lot of the difference in numbers between Asian and American women is soy related, there are other factors as well such as lifestyle. Americans may be under more stress, eat fewer vegetables and more processed foods (which by the way often contain growth hormones if you're a meat eater). Also if you're eating something like a soy chicken sandwich it's likely that you're eating processed soy which will not have the same health benefits as edamame (actual whole soybeans). For the record, I am not a health professional and these are just my views based upon personal knowledge.
And finally in regards to the palpitations... I get those too. I get a lot of physical symptoms and when I ignore or disregard the "milder" symptoms my body ups the anty with stronger symptoms. I had symptoms that I didn't know were symptoms, but in retrospect I can see that it was the beginning of anxiety. The more aware you can become of your body's physical sensations and the quicker you can use various calming techniques and attitudes the better off you'll be.
I hope that helps. I hope you write back and let us know how you're doing. You might be better off though starting a new post. New members often get overlooked when they jump onto an outdated thread like this one.
Post Edited (Fugs) : 10/24/2010 9:26:12 PM (GMT-6)