Caley honey thank you for all your advise. Esp the idea with writing it down right away.
I actually have a stuffie that I can sleep with and a blanket that I love in the cold weather. Last night was so horrible, I did get up, I had to and wrote out what I was feeling (body memories) and the flashbacks. I even had a cup of herbal tea and took a warm bath, read a magazine, had on some nice music. In the end I woke up my hubby bc I wasn't feeling safe at all. It took hours....more toward daylight for me to get another hour or two's sleep. Today I've been dragging all day and now dreading bedtime all over again. The panic is already setting in and has been...I'm Just trying to stay calm, gonna read for a while. It's just so scary.
1/12/04 surgery to repair prolapsed bladder, partial hysterectomy
12/11/08 surgery to repair prolapsed intestines, bowel, rectum (enterocele, rectocele & intussusception)
12/12/08 surgery to find source of bleeding, hemotoma in muscle behind vaginal wall (down to 7 hemoglobin)
12/13/08 gelfoam embolism to stop bleeding (still at 7 hemoglobin)
12/30/08 temp ileostomy and rectal stent due to rectal/vaginal fistula
PTSD, depression, migraine headaches and anxiety disorder
~~Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall~~
~~Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness to pull another hand into the light~~