Feeling really anxious

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Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7348
   Posted 3/7/2009 7:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi All

I am feeling really anxious at the moment and worrying about what the future holds for me, I have been on a extended break from work and im due back on the 1st April and not looking forward to going back. I do like the line of work I am in but had a falling out with management re sick leave and feel that they are not supporting me and don't really understand what im going through. When I get back I will start to look for a new job and that is making me anxious as I am no good at interviews and the thought of one gives me high levels of anxiety. I do need to make changes in my life as I am not happy and get frustrated that my anxiety gives me doubts about what I want to do. Sometimes I feel like I am winning the fight and feel positive about things but at the moment all I see is everything stacked up against me I seem to let things build up and struggle to cope with my feelings, I got depressed today over nothing a friend disagreed with me about a weather forecast I know stupid but it sent me in to a big depression and I don't know why?. I think what I hate most about anxiety and depression is how quickly it comes on one minute you are feeling good and the next you are not there seems to be no warning can any one relate to that?. I am going to have to make some big changes in my life to get me out of this hole I have dug for myself and hopefully CBT will help me through these changes, All I want is to feel happy and enjoy life rather than worrying about every thing and feeling depressed. I have enjoyed my trip away but have let things slide while being away the main one being starting drinking again and I now admit I do need help to quit and will bring this up with my therapist. When I think about the future all I want is to meet someone settle down and be happy and to have my anxiety and depression under control if I can get to that point I will be a happy man. As I have said in previous posts I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and have a lot of regrets but I need to move on if I want to get better and I hope I can do that.

Wow bit of a vent but just needed to put something down to try and get rid of the racing thoughts I am getting, If you have read this post thank you for taking the time and if you have any advice or words of support that would mean so much to me.

You are all in my thoughts, take care


Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/7/2009 7:45 PM (GMT -6)   

Ben, Your racing thoughts comment made me think of Abilify, you might talk with your Physician when you get home and see if this med would be a good choice for you?  I knowit has helped a lot of members with OCD.

I will be so glad when you are back on your home turf and can get the help you need. Meanwhile do keep trying to work with the online CBT.

Remember noto be so hard on yourself and to slow down those thoughts.  Try the meditation.


Choose a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed by other people or by the telephone.

Sit quietly in a comfortable position.

Eliminate distractions and interruptions during the period you'll be meditating.

Commit yourself to a specific length of time and try to stick to it.

Pick a focus word or short phrase that's firmly rooted in your personal belief system. A non-religious person might choose a neutral word like one, peace, or love. Others might use the opening words of a favorite prayer from their religion such as 'Hail Mary full of Grace', "I surrender all to you", "Hallelujah", "Om", etc.

Close your eyes. This makes it easy to concentrate.

Relax your muscles sequentially from head to feet. This helps to break the connection between stressful thoughts and a tense body.

Starting with your forehead, become aware of tension as you breathe in. Let go of any obvious tension as you breathe out. Go through the rest of your body in this way, proceeding down through your eyes, jaws, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, upper back, middle back and midriff, lower back, belly, pelvis, buttocks, thighs, calves, and feet.

Breathe slowly and naturally, repeating your focus word or phrase silently as you exhale.

Assume a passive attitude. Don't worry about how well you're doing. When other thoughts come to mind, simply say, "Oh, well," and gently return to the repetition.

Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. You may open your eyes to check the time, but do not use an alarm.

After you finish: Sit quietly for a minute or so, at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes open. Do not stand for one or two minutes.
Plan for a session once or twice a day.

Know we are all here for you and vent when you need too.
Warm thoughts coming your way,

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/7/2009 9:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear about your Anxiety. I know exactly how you feel and it's not a good thing. For me, my anxiety attacks and panic attacks are what the dr's say it would feel like to have a mild/heavy heart attack. I had my first one at 17 years old. I'm now 23. I've had unsteady hands (shakey hands when I would get nervous allll my life, but my parents thought it was something that was normal after we went to the dr. and I had no symptoms of heart problems). My first anxiety attack I literally (and i'm not a very religious man) started praying to god to and if I go to be welcomed into heaven. It was the scariest thing I had ever gone through. On the way to the hospital they gave me something and by the time I was at the hospital I had a mild headache and within 15 minutes I was the same as I was before.
Now when I say same as I was before (this started happened when I was around 13 i think)....I mean I had anxiety but it was very to the point of an attack. I would be fine if i was working on a project (i'm a computer programmer, have always been, and I now own an IT consulting company), but when people or normally worry free, I worried the most. I couldn't get things to stop going through my head. Thoughts about everything. I'd tried a peaceful meditation in a quiet area. I'd tried a lot of things. I started going out with my first steady girlfriend when I was 15 (we are still together and engaged which she has helped through a lot even with the medication) which was harder because I tried to hide it from her and everyone else.. I would go through periods of not sleeping for 2 or 3 nights. With no sleep I would get angry at the drop of a hat. I would go off about nothing. The anxiety about everything else (even stuff I wanted to control but couldn't) was starting to run my life.

The thing for me that stopped me from going to see a dr. before I had my panic attack was my pride as a man. I felt that I had no control over my body. It would be one of those nights and I would be watching a movie or something and just start crying. I wasn't in depression though, I was happy with my life (to a certain extent, my parents weren't the best and they played a small role in me not seeing a dr. because they were in a car accident and both for about 5 years got hooked hard on pain pills until they had to go through detox, and I had a younger brother to help take care of). But anyways, back to the pride issues. I felt that I was not strong as I should be. It was hurting my pride and making my anxiety worse. I didn't want to tell anyone as to how it was. I didn't want to have to depend on medicine or anything to be normal. However, I had to get my wisdom teeth out about 2 weeks after my first anxiety attack and the dr. prescribed me valium (i believe that's how you spell it) and even though it is also a form of muscle relaxant I knew that if I could feel normal because of a pill, if that's what it took then I would do it. So I let my teeth heel up and I went to a neurologist who is also a family dr. This was the dr. I picked out of about 5. It was hard picking one i trusted. The first day we went I talked to him like a psychiatrist almost. He wanted to know everything. We tried forms of anti-anxiety medications. The only anti-anxiety pill (which i was fearful of) that would work was Xanax. I have been on it for almost 6 years now. The problem I had with xanax was that it is VERY habit forming and the fact that not only normal people but even the pharmacist (i wear a suit 90% of my day....Armani, Gucci, etc... NICE suits. I don't look like a druggy) made me feel like a druggy taking it because of the way that it is sold and bought on the street. I finally put my pride and what people thought aside (me and my girlfriend and grandparents, as well as parents [even though I didn't value their opinion as much because they were trying to get off being addicted to pain pills) and we found the right dosage that wouldn't make me tired and stopped the shaking, the anxiety, everything. For the first time in YEARS I felt normal as my girlfriend when we slept together (i don't mean sexually, i mean when we would fall asleep for the night when I would stay with her or she stay with me. I used to have to pretend to be sleeping), I didn't feel weird at sales (which I am a computer programmer, but back then I was a mortgage broker and making good money (so it's true when money can't buy happiness, at 18 I made just under $100k, and from then until 22 I made over $100k a year and now that I own my own company and set it up well before I opened it I make even more), I felt comfortable programming again, I wasn't second guessing myself. It was like an entire new life.

So go to the Dr.! Get it taken care of and if there is medicine he suggest and you trust the Dr.....take it. You only want to be happy for yourself. I haven't had an Anxiety Attack in 5 years. The trick with medication like this, which I had to learn, is that I wasn't always going to be 100% happy and without worry....no body is. So don't over take it and keep to what the dr. says. Believe it or not I actually enjoyed being pressured and stressed at work while knowing I wasn't going to have an anxiety attack and that when I left work or got the project done that it was over and I would worry about it tomorrow.

There are people who will say that you can do it without medicine, but that's what worked for me and I go with it. I also have read books that as being a teenager some of your guy friends might call you names or make fun of you. But check them out. Things like learning that you can't control everything, that there is a time for things and a time for other things. Especially if you are heavy into work as well as your family.

I apologize if this isn't very well put together, but you get the basics of it at the end. GO SEE A DR. about THIS AND DISCUSS TREATMENT!!!!! It changed my life. It's not easy finding that right Dr., but i found mine. (oddly enough I had no idea until I told my parents, but he was the Dr. who had been in my father's side for years. His son delivered me and my brother, he delivered my father (who is now 41 years old), and his other son treated the asthma I had from 9-11 yrs old.) Just a cool little thing I thought I'd throw in.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7348
   Posted 3/8/2009 2:49 AM (GMT -6)   

Thanks for your reply I think it helps to just wright down how im feeling sometimes, Abilify is a medication which has been mentioned to me before by Karen and I will look into that when I get back. I forgot to take my Effexor yesterday for the first time and man did it let me know I felt really sick and was getting these crazy brain zaps but once I took my Effexor I was ok again this has got me really anxious about coming off this medication. I have tried meditation but do need to give it a proper go so thanks a lot for all the info on this Kitt and you continued support. Paranoia is still playing a big part in my life at the moment something I will talk to my pdoc when I get back.


Thank you for your post and welcome to healing well this is a great forum. Its good to know that people can relate to what im going through sounds like you have had a tough few years and im glad you have found a medication that works for you. I know what you mean about the pride thing and I do find it hard to accept and admit that I have anxiety and something I need to look at, Its sound like you have dealt with your anxiety and done well for yourself so well done its good to hear people are winning the battle with anxiety.

Thank you.


Green Grove
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 3/8/2009 2:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Ben my Scottish Bro,

I don't have much more to add to all the advice, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you man, and I know how you feel cause I've been there is similar ways. I know that if you get straightened out on your meds and therapy, that you will start feeling so much better. . . I've done it myself and am still in shock sometimes on all the ways I've changed. Just got to get your head reprogrammed with things like the CBT and you will snap out of it :) Sorry, that is what I call it, the whole "reprogramming" of the brain thing :)

Take care and how is your dad doing? I hope all is well!
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort . . . Your Bro :)
 ~Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic Forum~
"Although the world is full of suffering. . . it is also full of the overcoming of it."
~Helen Keller~
Not a professional.  Seek your physician's advice before making changes to your meds or lifestyle.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7348
   Posted 3/8/2009 10:52 AM (GMT -6)   

Thank you for your support I agree that CBT will do me a lot of good and once I have done the therapy and maybe a change in meds then I will be able to look at things in a new light and with a new perspective and get things under control. One of the things I find hard is breaking the cycle of my anxiety and depression as I have lived with these feelings for so long hopefully this is something the CBT will help with?. My dad seems in good form and I am looking forward to seeing him and mum when I get back to UK thanks for asking Sam.

Take Care

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7348
   Posted 3/8/2009 12:33 PM (GMT -6)   

Thanks so much it was great talking to you as well. I hope your study goes well and think you will do good with that and I will speak to my doctor when I get back and looking forward to starting CBT proper. Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post I know you are having a hard time at the moment but please know that I am here if you need me as are the other members of healingwell you are strong Nikki and will get there as well take care my friend.

Chat soon.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 3/8/2009 4:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Ben, I'm glad you finally admitted you need help in quitting the drinking. That's the first step, you know. You will feel better when you get home. Take things slowly. Take your time looking for another job. Everything is going to be okay. I guarantee it!

It sounds like you're thinking too much. Remember to stay in the moment. I think we all need that tattooed on our foreheads cuz I do the same darn thing. It's a very difficult habit to break. Take care, Ben! And let us know how you're doing!
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
Prozac, Toprol 100 mg and occasionally Ativan

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7348
   Posted 3/8/2009 6:04 PM (GMT -6)   

thank you i do need to try and stay in the moment that is something i am not good at just hope things will work out for me this year.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7348
   Posted 3/8/2009 6:04 PM (GMT -6)   

thank you i do need to try and stay in the moment that is something i am not good at just hope things will work out for me this year.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/8/2009 6:07 PM (GMT -6)   
'Personally I wll be a happy camper when you are back home and getting the proper help
you do deserve
You are too great a friend and person to let the anticapatory anxiety get you down
Am so glad you will check into abilify it does help so many

I believe in you
so DO so many others here
Know it and believe it
Your Canadian Good Luck Charm
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........Co Moderator   @ Crohns                    
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or YOu Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7348
   Posted 3/9/2009 1:53 AM (GMT -6)   

Thank you for the support i do have a lot to sort out when i get back
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