Ben, Your racing thoughts comment made me think of Abilify, you might talk with your Physician when you get home and see if this med would be a good choice for you? I knowit has helped a lot of members with OCD.
I will be so glad when you are back on your home turf and can get the help you need. Meanwhile do keep trying to work with the online CBT.
Remember noto be so hard on yourself and to slow down those thoughts. Try the meditation.
Choose a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed by other people or by the telephone.
Sit quietly in a comfortable position.
Eliminate distractions and interruptions during the period you'll be meditating.
Commit yourself to a specific length of time and try to stick to it.
Pick a focus word or short phrase that's firmly rooted in your personal belief system. A non-religious person might choose a neutral word like one, peace, or love. Others might use the opening words of a favorite prayer from their religion such as 'Hail Mary full of Grace', "I surrender all to you", "Hallelujah", "Om", etc.
Close your eyes. This makes it easy to concentrate.
Relax your muscles sequentially from head to feet. This helps to break the connection between stressful thoughts and a tense body.
Starting with your forehead, become aware of tension as you breathe in. Let go of any obvious tension as you breathe out. Go through the rest of your body in this way, proceeding down through your eyes, jaws, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, upper back, middle back and midriff, lower back, belly, pelvis, buttocks, thighs, calves, and feet.
Breathe slowly and naturally, repeating your focus word or phrase silently as you exhale.
Assume a passive attitude. Don't worry about how well you're doing. When other thoughts come to mind, simply say, "Oh, well," and gently return to the repetition.
Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. You may open your eyes to check the time, but do not use an alarm.
After you finish: Sit quietly for a minute or so, at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes open. Do not stand for one or two minutes.
Plan for a session once or twice a day.
Know we are all here for you and vent when you need too.
Warm thoughts coming your way,