Don't beat yourself up too much! It is ridiculous, but that's all part of it. It's tough to change and develop new habits - even when we know that our current ones are causing us harm.
It's been a hard pill to swallow for me, but many things/habits that I enjoy cause panic attacks for me. It took me years, but I finally had to decide if it was worth it. Overeating + alcohol definitely do it (either alone or together). I love wine and was a huge social drinker...but I had to put alcohol behind me - granted, my husband was entering recovery a few years ago, so it wasn't too tough. I still overeat sometimes - I'm a small person, so it just makes me so sick and then my heartburn/indigestion/whatever triggers an attack. I know it, but I would be lying if I said that I never overeat!
Anyway, we are here to help, so feel free to vent anytime :)
Panic Attacks (since age 10) & General Anxiety with a little OCD thrown in there
Biggest Challenge - Panic; Biggest Joy - my 3 cute kiddos (ages 1, 2 & 5)