So now it seems that my reflux has decided to act up again in the way it used to before I started medication for it. I get this "sense" of not being able to breathe well, and with my phobia of developing an allergy (Kitt and all, I actually only have the one), it send me into a panic that my throat will close.
I try to tell myself that I've got enough experience now to recognize it. Yes, it's *very* frightening, but I can feel that it seems to be more muscles in my throat and esophagus than spontaneous swelling. And, it goes away when I stand and usually only occurs on one side of my throat. Plus, I ate more than 3 hours ago, and it was the same leftovers I had 2 days ago with no problems at all. Thanks for letting me vent my reasons not to be afraid, even though I am scared whenever I feel it.
I've been to many doctors and believe I've gotten the correct treatment. When my reflux meds work, I'm great. When they're not working, on top of this drug allergy confirmation and fear of developing a food allergy, my anxiety just takes the fear and runs with it. I know you all understand how that goes.
I do have an appointment next week to ask questions about
my drug reaction (and whether I need an EpiPen and Medicalert
bracelet), as well as to get tested for this old favorite food that I'm newly afraid of. I've been more diligent about
taking my medication at good times in my daily schedule, and last night I knew I'd have trouble choking awake, so I just slept in the recliner from the get-go. Slept great for the first time in 3 nights.
Sorry to ramble - I just need to release some steam from this phobia. By the way, my therapist and I will be trying EMDR next week. Oddly enough, the allergy phobia is very closely imitating my beliefs from an abusive relationship from the past, so perhaps using EMDR about
that can help me change the related "stinkin' thinkin'" about
I'll look for an old thread to post about
the EMDR as it happens, or else start a new one. This will be a new kind of treatment for me, and I'm happy to share how it goes.
Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum