You sure are dealing with a struggle, not just your own, but concern for your husband. It sounds like you did really well to me last night - doing what you needed to do to take care of yourself when it was needed.
It sounds like you are very worried for your husband, and I'd be the same. Why don't you ask him whether he'd like you to be with him tomorrow? Maybe he would feel supported and safe to feel his grief with you there, or maybe he would prefer to be alone in her house in order to not have to hold himself together for you and others. He may be feeling like he can't fall apart either, because he needs to be strong for the rest of the family. Anyhow, ask him.
I hope you can find a little relief in what will likely be a very hard next few days. If you need to step out for a bit, to get some air, take meds, or just escape, that might help, so please try not to beat yourself up for it.
Sending positive thoughts to you and your hubby and whole family,
Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum