Everything was OK at first.
Then the past week I've been suffering the panic attacks. So severe, its like I wasn't taking any meds at all. The Ativan wouldn't help. The xanax was only temporary.
I woke up in the morning with them, I had them all day long, and the other night was the last straw.
My fiance and I drove about 10 mins away, where I'm usually fine going; and the panic attack was so bad I was about to throw myself out of the car. I took an ativan.
Took a half a xanax a little while later when I got home and the room started spinning.
Then I woke up an hour later and was panicking again.
So I took a 10mg Lex at midnight, and then one in the morning. Today will be the third pill.
I HATE it because this medication is so numbing. I was so connected to everything. I was so connected to my daughter where I haven't been since I was pregnant. I'm about to cry as I write this because now I know the real me is going to be shoved into some corner of my mind; numb and disconnected.
After taking a 10 mg pill yesterday, I couldn't even talk. I felt like a zombie. I was at my accountants and I was just numb to the whole situation. Every laugh felt forced yesterday, where it hasn't been in 3 weeks. I felt real joy. Now I know I'm going to go back to feeling nothing at all. Just numb. My life sucks.
It's better than having panic attacks all day long, and getting this awful worm-crawling feeling throughout my entire body.
I guess there isn't anything I can do. I'm lost.
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."
DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
RX: Lorazepam (1 MG - 2 mgs a day), Lexapro (20 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines
IT'S A GIRL! Amelia Candice.
6 lbs, 6 oz
19.5 inches long
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