Thanks so much for the supportive words, thoughts, feelings, and prayers. I'm trying to let go of the HA, but it takes spells. For instance, the other day in the middle of a meeting, I had one of my shortness of breath episodes. I needed to finish explaining my thought, so I barged right on through, and within the 60 seconds it took me to finish speaking, the S.o.B. was over - I felt proud of myself for fighting through it. I still get this irrational fear that something's happening that my doctors haven't recognized - and that's even after reassurance from an allergist/immunologist and my own great ENT this past week that what I'm feeling is completely consistent with just reflux.
I agree with them. For instance, Saturday night my stepson and husband were camping with friends and invited me to the site for dinner. I'm spooked about
breathing in the woods now (SoB episode last week, that went away within 5 minutes, while I was still in the woods and continued to stay there for another 30 minutes). ANyhow, for the first hour of sitting around the fire, I was edgy and constantly monitoring my body and my breathing. At one point, I started to feel I couldn't breathe, got that rush of adrenaline/giddy feeling you have when you're scared, but not light-headed at all. That really freaked me out, so I took a walk down the lane to the restroom. I was so scared that I was having an allergic reaction to the leaves or things in the air. Anyhow, shortly after that I took my Nexium, and then I was able to spend another hour and a half very comfortably and unafraid right back at that same campsite in the same exact part of the woods. So I felt proud about
I tell myself cognitively that I can't be having breathing trouble from an allergy because it wouldn't come and go that quickly, and it wouldn't go at all if I'm still in the same environment. The allergist will test me for trees and pollen and stuff (we ran a couple of dozen tests 3 years ago, and they were all negative), but neither of us really expects to find anything. I've also chased around in the woods looking for lost cats without ever having trouble, so it's clearly just in my head. I'm hopeful that the test will give me information that can help me to put down my anxiety even more.
Sorry to vent for so long. I've developed this phobia surrounding (non-existent) allergies, and don't really have anyone who truly understands to share it with most of the time. My friends and hubby are supportive, but thank goodness they aren't experiencing phobias like many of us here do.
Love to all,
Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum
DX: Anxiety, Depression, LPR (acid reflux)
Meds: Paxil, Nexium, Zantac