I'm so sorry that you're struggling so. That "catch-22" feeling of not being able to function either way has got to be hard on you. I assume you've spoken with your doctor about
changing the xanax dosage, or suggesting a better time to take it. I don't take xanax, so I'm no help to you there, but others will surely be along soon with ideas, experiences, or just "I've been there too" compassion. When you speak about
always needing an exit plan, that is *definitely* me. Oddly, it helps a tiny bit, but it's aggravating to feel "under the thumb" of the anxiety like that.
Have you been taking xanax for very long, or is it still fairly new for you? If you don't mind sharing, what dosage do you take? That may help others compare their experiences with yours more clearly.
Above all, hang in there. All of us on this forum known how anxiety tries to wreck your life, and we're all trying to fight it in the best ways we know how.
Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum