I have a daughter who is currently 29 years and has a 6 year old son. She does accept government help and still gets help even though she has a full time job. She would love to stay at home with him all the time, but she does what she has to do to provide for him. She gets govt help and still works almost full time. But the govt does not pay enough for her to pay her rent, so she has to work to meet the additional needs she and her son have. Does going to work to provide the most basic of neccessities he needs mean she is a bad Mom? No it doesn't. My daughter still has great quality time with him. She buys annual passes to local entertainment parks each year, and on the weekends they are off having a good time together or to the local park and ride bikes and have playtime. She doesn't have alot, but she makes the most of what she does have. I understand your desire to be a stay at home Mom with him which I think is a noble calling. BUT, many courts look at who can best provide for a child. You sound like a loving mother and I would hate to hear you lost your child because you just want to be a "free spirit". The courts don't look at a parents desires, they look at what is in the best interest of the child.
I agree no one needs a big house, a fancy car, or brand name clothes. I personally have a fulltime job, but I don't own my own home, I don't drive fancy cars, and definetly don't have to have brand name clothes. I see your point about
material things and agree sometimes society gets too much into "possessions'. You seem to get quite defensive about
your financial situation. Its okay to live on govt help until YOU can get on your feet, but not wanting to work just because you want to be with your son all the time, is not fair or logical. You are now a single mother and your responsibility is to meet your childs needs. I think it wouldn't hurt your son to be away from you for 4-5 hours a day. It would give him time to spend with other children and learn about
sharing etc, and give you additional funds to help provide for him. And it would give you some time to be more than just your son's Mom, it would give you time to get out for a bit and be with other adults and have sometime for YOU too, which is also important.
I am sorry you feel that we are judging you, but you have to remember its not the govt's job to take care of you, they can help yes, but you have to do your part too. In my state, you have no choice, in order to get benefits you must be involved in a back to work program in order to even get the benefits. Just like my daughter, she gets the benefits, but does her part too.
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
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