Thanks so much for your advice. I'm not sure what you mean by "intervention", but I have talked to my mom.
It took a lot just to get her to the PCP. She went in for her annual cancer screening (which she often skips b/c she's worried it will come back positive & she will have to have more spots removed). Fortunately -- and I feel bad for even saying this -- she broke down in tears at the PCP's office, so he decided to put her on meds.
She has gone to counseling some, but like everything else, she expects that there will be an instant cure. Whenever anyone tries to help her, she just says that they're adding to her stress. I'm kinda questioning how helpful this PCP is b/c he keeps telling her that while a/d's can take weeks to kick in for depression, that they start working for anxiety right away.
I don't really even know what to say to her. She usually is terrible about committing to way too many things & ends up getting stressed & taking it out on her family, but this is so much worse & she just refuses to be reasoned with. My sister & I have tried to talk to her & tell her that she needs to make whatever sacrifices need to be made in order to get some sleep. My dad has agreed to stop asking her to turn the lights off b/c somehow she equates that to him saying that they're in dire financial straits. He's just trying to be environmentally responsible, but she takes it very hard & has actually said that she thinks he's trying to kill her -- so she doesn't really respond to anything he tries to say constructively.
I don't know. I get how crippling fear can be. I know how I get when I have to undergo sedation or anesthesia. I get completely panicked until I make myself sick. But that lasts for a few days to a week & then its over. This GAD just seems to feed on itself & gets worse & worse & worse. Since her fear isn't about a single event, but about major aspects of her life, I'm not sure how to help her out of it. She says she doesn't have time for counseling b/c she has too much to do. She says she doesn't have time for a psychiatrist b/c she is too busy. She wouldn't even take Mother's Day off just to enjoy. And yet, as "busy" as she is, she is always making time to take on new clients.
I've tried offering to set up doctor's appointments for her. I've left phone numbers for her to call. I've tried being really nice about everything & even offering to help her out around the house b/c she complains that no one will ever help her with anything. She turns me down. I've tried being more firm & telling her that I don't want her to get into a crash. All she does is turn around & tell me that I'm one to talk since I got into an accident some years ago, while she's never been in so much as a fender bender. But all it takes is a couple of seconds for it to happen. I've buried too many friends who've died in car crashes & I don't want to bury her.
I just don't know. Part of me wants to just cut off our relationship b/c I don't think I can stand to keep watching her self-destruct. I don't know. Maybe it's already too late. Even her supervisor told her to take some time off, but she wouldn't listen. Her supervisor & a few co-workers contacted me and asked if I could try to talk her into taking some time off, or at least slowing down. I tried, but she thought it was a trick. She said some really harsh things & I lost it that time. I told her I hoped she lost her job b/c she was not even being reasonable any more & I was worried she was either going to die of a heart attack (she has a lot of risk factors & both her parents had multiple heart attacks) or from getting into a car accident. She cried & said I just wanted her to starve to death. My dad makes over $200K, so I'm not really sure how she is going to starve to death if she loses her job, but she has convinced herself that it will happen.
I'm sorry to go on like this. I just don't know what to do any more. Is this normal for people with severe GAD, or it is b/c she is so sleep deprived?