I have read this forum a lot, and finally have decided to post.
I have always been a very outgoing and fun person, trying to be as carefree as I can. That looks good on the outside, but on the inside, I have been basically an emotional wreck since roughly my freshman year of high school (23 now). It's not so much that I am depressed or unhappy with things, I mainly am just on edge and nervous about everything. Anytime I do something that could have any sort of risk involved, I find myself thinking of 100 different ways I may have just messed up the rest of my life, or could mess up the rest of my life. So far, I've been very lucky that nothing has gone wrong, but what concerns me is that it probably isn't luck, it just feels that way.
What's worse is that the longer I go, the less risk i seem to take while worrying more about each risk. Doing small things like feeling sick and taking a half day off work make me worry all the rest of the time that I will be fired, a general worry i have any way even though I am consistently told I do a god job.
I also worry about things in a relationship, thinking things like oh I should not even start to talk to another girl because if my girlfriend found out it would be over and i would ruin it, only to have her in reality not care at all. It's beginning to wear on me more and more than i find myself in tears and breaking down more often than I used to over things. I literally find myself on my knee's praying and begging forgiveness for anything and everything I have done, hoping I stay "lucky" as long as I can to have my future plans pan out.
I know some degree of worrying is normal, but I don't think that breaking down in tears and shaking, worrying that life is going to change for the worse at every turn is normal. I am usually the rock for everyone else, the solid ground that my friends and family come to with problems, and the one to assure others that the past is the past, and things will work out how they will. Can't change it, can't turn back time, so might as well just live with what you're given and don't worry about what you can't change, and change what you don't like in the present. I just wish i could follow my own advice, because I have a real hard time practicing what I preach.