Thank you all so much for your words of comfort and I'm sorry that this is bringing back the pain of loss for so many. I'm not doing well at all. I'm overwhelmed by pain, the thought of him never coming home again just takes my breath away. I miss having him next to me, miss his big brown eyes, his soft fur, holding him and his puppy kisses. It's just to much to bear. We had him cremated and picked up his ashes on Friday, I stood and sobbed in the vet office when they brought out the box with his ashes. The vet tech there has always loved Buster and she did such a wonderful, special thing for me that made me just lose it completely, she made an ink print of buster's little paw. My husband had to literally lead me out of the building as I was so broken up.
My husband has only worked 2 and 1/2 days since we lost Buster, and this will be the first week that I'll be alone in the house without him. My husband at least kept my mind occupied and we went out and did things to keep busy. I'm already feeling miserable this morning and don't know how to pull myself out of it. I know that I need to learn to accept the new normal here and learn to live, but I honestly just want to curl up in bed and stay there. I'm not, but I'd like too. I think it's all just sinking in that he's really gone and is not coming back and facing that for me is just too enormous.
My anxiety is getting worse as well. I've always been scared that I would lose all the progress I've made when I lost Buster, and I'm so afraid of that now, afraid I'll become agoraphobic again like after my Dad died. Sorry this is so long, I appreciate everyone listening, it's just been such a hard time and I feel so alone.