I am new to the site and was hoping for support and advice. I am 31yo with 2 sons (age 2 and 5) and a wonderful husband.
I have been plagued by worry as long as I can remember. It wasn't until after the birth of my 2nd son, that I began having panic attacks. 2 years ago I went to the ER thinking I was having a stroke. I felt lightheaded and feeling like I was drunk. Left side of face was slightly numb as well as my left hand. MRI was normal and neurologist said I passed all tests. She did tell me that MS can appear after the birth of a child and wanted to admit me to the hospital for observation. I declined. I spent the next 2 days worrying that I had MS. I saw my GP who held my hand and talked me through my worry. She said MS would have most likely appeared on the MRI scan of my brain and what I experienced was most likely a panic attack. This helped me and my life returned to normal. She has since left her practice and moved to a different state
Then, 6 weeks ago I had back surgery which was very unexpected. Ever since I woke up from surgery every twtich my body makes sends me into panic that something is wrong. My muscles twitch throughout the day and when my body is relaxing or sleeping, It will jurk. I am often checking symptoms online and was convinced the body jerking and twitches was ALS. I have spent most of my days and nights feeling like I was about to die or be diagnosed with something horrible. 2 weeks ago I decided to see a therapist for this.
I have been on Zoloft twice before for anxiety with great success but went off of it over a year ago. At the recommendation of my therapist, I went back on it 3 nights ago at 50mg. The first night I had trouble sleeping and was restless. The next night, I woke up completely out of control. I was pacing the floor, wringing my hands, VERY agitated, lightheaded, nauseas, and my heart was pounding. I thought I was having another panic attack. I checked the drug online and saw the symptoms of seratonin syndrome which sounded identical to what I was experiencing. It said it could be fatal and I again, panicked thinking I had OD'd. I called 3 physicians, a pharmacist and my therapist. I was told that this is normal when starting the drug, but i had been on this twice before and nothing like this happened. I spent most of the day yesterday pacing the house or office and felt like I had taken speed. This lasted almost 15 hours. So, last night I stopped taking it.
It is affecting my job performance becaue I cannot concentrate and more importantly, my relationship with my husband. He doesn't understand what I am feeling and thinks this is something I should just "stop doing" (like I have any control over it). I try to explain to him that most moments of panic feel likethe feeling you get when you hear the phone ring in the middle of the night. I don't know if stopping the zoloft was a good idea but now I am scared to take it (or anything else) because of the reaction I had.
I am hoping that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Any feedback would be great.