Paulos, giving up is not an option. You must be strong. Are you seeing a therapist? It might be a good idea, if you can, to check yourself into a rehab center or go to a hospital and tell them how you're feeling.
You are obviously depressed. You need medication and a good professional to talk to. You need to stop all negative self talk. Ktt had some great suggestions for getting your mind on other things. Remember, there's always someone who has it worse. These difficult times will pass.
Please, call someone and get some help!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
"The part can never be well unless the whole is well." Plato