When will it stop?

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 5/22/2009 6:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Im sorry in advance for whining but enough is enough and i cant take much more! Im still extremely sick and now have confirmed 2 more surgeries for next year- repeat of sinus surgery & then ovarian cysts. Im sick, im in pain, im tired and im FAT.
Tonight im going to an engagement party where all my posh friends are super skinny, super pretty, super perfect- and then there's me who is the token fatty in all the photos thanks to a mix of Zoloft and Fibro. i cant get comfortable in this skin, and a simple thing like driving for 45mins to an engagement party and having a late-ish night will set my health back further. i will pay for it tomorrow.
I cant sleep cos im in pain. but my self esteem is at rock bottom and that hurts the most.
Maz XX
            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Asthma, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Phenergan.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 5/22/2009 11:40 PM (GMT -6)   
maz! im sure youre beautiful!!! sorry to hear about the surgeries... i think youre an amazing person. you seem to handle things really well, even though you might not feel that way at  times. again, im sure youre gorgeous, but at the end of the day what really matters is how you treat people and i can honestly say you have been very kind to me and others here! dont feel so down on yourself - you are much more valuable than you realize :) keep your head up love
sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
<3 <3 <3
when you feel like you're done, and the darkness has won, babe you're not lost ...when you're worlds crashing down and you cannot bare the cross, baby you're not lost.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 5/22/2009 11:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Mazfire dear,

Your looks may not be what you expect or wish for. But girlfriend you have a beautiful heart and soul. And that is the part that actually counts. I am one of the few people out there that does not take looks into account but the matters of the heart and soul. I have a best friend who weighs in at well over 400lbs I love her to death. And to me she is just beautiful. Just like yourself.
Give yourself a big hug and remember you are beautiful no matter what others see on the outside.

I'm sorry you have more surgery to go through. It is rough and hard to deal with. But you will feel better once its all over with!

Enjoy yourself tonight the best you can! Hang in there!


Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/23/2009 9:00 AM (GMT -6)   


You are beautiful, I have seen your pictures and I believe you are beautiful inside and out.  So no putting yourself down.  nono    You have a wonderful smile. smilewinkgrin



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