hello everyone. i'm new here and just wanted to introduce myself. i am a 33 year old woman and have always been a worrier. this year has been a bad one for me: i had a very difficult pregnancy, my first, which ended in a second trimester miscarriage; the hospital didn't properly test the fetus due to a clerical mistake and thus had to test me for every disease in the book that could cause what happened -- from lupus to blood clotting disorders and beyond; my husband lost his job; and i got diagnosed with hashimoto's thyroiditis and went on synthroid, which i think has also contributed to my anxiety. through all of this, i have developed really bad health anxiety and at this point spend what feels like 24 hours a day panicking that i have a fatal disease. i know logically that anxiety contributes to, if not causes, the physical symptoms that i experience -- tmj, eye floaters, pelvic pain, bladder spasms, back pain, itching etc. -- but somehow every time a new symptom arises i still panic. since saturday, i've been freaking out because my armpits hurt and now i'm convinced that means i have swollen lymph nodes which must mean i have cancer. it's so hard for me to convince myself that there is nothing physically wrong with me -- which is what my dr insists after a pelvic sonogram, physical exam, and bloodwork all came back normal two weeks ago -- when i feel so bad all the time. i am in therapy and just last week decided to try zoloft, which i had been hesitant to do bc i want to get pregnant again and i know there are risks with being on zoloft pregnant. so far, it has only made me feel more anxious, though i know it's only been a week. i am now taking a tiny, tiny does -- one quarter of a 50mg pill -- so i can ease into it. i am also taking xanax and find that i am more and more dependent on it to get through the day, which makes me worry that i'm getting addicted. i feel so sad and panicked and hopeless. i talk about it with my husband but it makes him upset to see me upset and now he has started a new job, working 14 hour days, so is not around much. i feel guilty about adding to his stress. i started reading a cognitive behavioral therapy book this weekend and am trying some of the techniques like flooding (repeating my worry over and over for 20 minutes) and setting aside time in the day to worry but i just feel like none of this is going to work. i feel like i fell into a well of anxiety and depression and hopelessness and i can't pull myself out of it. i just don't know what to do. does anyone have any advice?