I fear that my illnesses will prevent me from finding a suitable, spunky husband. The prospect of being alone when all my friends are getting married and having babies is really hitting me hard. I have such a low opinion of myself physically, due to illness related weight gain.
Someone asked me the other day what it was like to have my first panic attack at 10yrs old and without thinking the words flew out: I said "A part of me died that day."
Dead! Numb! Forced to grow up fast. All my relationships have been abusive in one way or another, started making me feel i didnt deserve any better, but i know i do.
Im trying so hard to be happy for my friends, and i am- good for them! But maybe i want a hubby, a mortgage, a white picket fence, a baby on my hip etc too. I feel i have been robbed of alot. I know that some of you will think 29 yrs old is a spring chicken. But when youve been sick most your life, i feel OLD.
I want someone to share my journey with, and i truly cant see that happening. Sickness has already robbed me of so much, id hate to see myself turn into a spinster with 32 cats who collects old newspapers from the '70's and chews tobaccy while knitting in my rocking chair and talking to imaginary friends...... oh my
Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, IBS, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, Seasonal Mood Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo, Impaired immune system. Tachycardia,
Low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium. Codeine Phosphate. Phenergan. Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health. Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.