nervous newbie asks for help

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 6/25/2009 3:33 PM (GMT -6)   
I just wanted to say hello and ask your advise. First off, is depression and anxiety the same thing, as i seem to be able to control panic attacks very well. I also have Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis, both chronic pain disorders. I'm new on the site and to fibro board and i hope it's ok if i seek your help also as you'll see from the following.
Anyway, the other thing i am just admitting along with the denial of the FM and OA  is that i also suffer anxiety and depression, I did not want to face it as my sister is bipolar and i didn't want to think i'd end up like her.  That's not to offend anyone, it's just she's very bad and as she spent about 10 years undiagnosed there's a lot of history and reasons for my attitude towards it.
I now realise it's my attitude that has to change amd accepting and admitting that i'm anxious and depressed is not the end of the world, although even as i write i'm afraid of being judged by you. I feel i am never good enough.
I seem to be in a constant state of anxiety and fear, of nothing in particular. everytime the phone rings or if i don't hear from my husband for a few hours i think the worst. This is also due to an unpredictable upbringing. Some examples are, walking in from school and finding 2 of my 3  sisters after trying suicide or self harming(at different times), my dad barging in on christmas day and smashing the dinner table with a hatchet(he did a repeat performance for easter), accidents all the time with machinery and animals(i grew up on a farm) there's lots more but you get the idea.
I know i need help but i can't afford counselling on top of my physio needs, my husband doesn't really understand as he thinks my whole family are nuts, which makes me fear he thinks i'm also nuts. And i know that's not a nice way to percieve it.
I'm going to the doctor today week and have to build up the courage to tell him how i feel but i don't know where to start. I also can't stop eating and know that's just a bad habit also.
I'm finding it so hard to cope, i can handle the pain, but not my mental state. Even as i type my husband has dashed in in a whirlwind with another machinery crisis, (we're agri contractors). His brother is just re couperating after nearly loosing his hand in a harvester a few weeks ago. He expects me to help out when i can and today i spent all day on a tractor making hay, i was freaked out as there were people working in the next field and all i could think was that i was doing a terrible job and they were all laughing at me. Even though i know i did a really good job, even if i do say so myself blush .
I don't know what anwsers i'm looking for but maybe some of you could help, please

BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most!
Fibro and spinal arthritis, trying to mange it with diet, exercise and accepting my limits, as i'm allergic to EVERYTHING!
TTC NO1 since Jan08

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7350
   Posted 6/25/2009 3:42 PM (GMT -6)   

Welcome to the healingwell forum you have found a great place were you can come and gain support and advice from others who know and understand what you are going through. Anxiety and depression do seem to go hand and hand together and one affects the other which is the case with me, I have GAD and Depression and have suffered with these illnesses for a long time. I am glad that you have admitted to yourself that you are having these problems as that is the first step to recovery, It took me a long time to face up to my problems over 25yrs but I felt a huge wait of my shoulders when I asked for help. I would say go and speak to your doctor and see what they can do for you and also look into therapy as this can really help people with anxiety and depression. Take care of you and keep us posted we are always here to support you.


Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 6/25/2009 4:18 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks for the reply. I know what ineed to do, i just have to brave through it. My husband is just so buey at the moment i can't really talk to him, he went to work 14 hours ago and still isn't home. The poor guy won't have the energy to listen to my meltdown.

I'ii be grand in a while, i just need to pull it together.
BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most!
Fibro and spinal arthritis, trying to mange it with diet, exercise and accepting my limits, as i'm allergic to EVERYTHING!
TTC NO1 since Jan08

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/25/2009 4:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Forum.
No, anxiety and depression are not one and the same although they often go together.

Symptoms of depression include:

  • Loss of interest in normal daily activities
  • Feeling sad or down
  • Feeling hopeless
  • Crying spells for no apparent reason
  • Problems sleeping
  • Trouble focusing or concentrating
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • Unintentional weight gain or loss
  • Irritability
  • Restlessness
  • Being easily annoyed
  • Feeling fatigued or weak
  • Feeling worthless
  • Loss of interest in sex
  • Thoughts of suicide or suicidal behavior
  • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Depression symptoms can vary greatly because different people experience depression in different ways. A 25-year-old man with depression may not have the same symptoms as a 70-year-old man, for instance. For some people, depression symptoms are so severe that it's obvious something isn't right. Others may feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.

Signs and symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder can vary in combination or severity. Generalized anxiety disorder symptoms may include:

  • Restlessness
  • Feeling of being keyed up or on edge
  • Feeling a lump in your throat
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Fatigue
  • Irritability
  • Impatience
  • Being easily distracted
  • Muscle tension
  • Trouble falling or staying asleep
  • Excessive sweating
  • Shortness of breath
  • Stomachache
  • Diarrhea
  • Headache

If you have generalized anxiety disorder, you may experience times when your worries don't completely consume you, but you still feel rather anxious. You may feel on edge about many or all aspects of your life. For example, you may feel intense worry about your safety or that of your loved ones, or you may have a general sense that something bad is about to happen, even when there's no apparent danger.

Generalized anxiety disorder often begins at an early age, and the signs and symptoms may develop more slowly than in other anxiety disorders. Many people with generalized anxiety disorder can't recall when they last felt relaxed or at ease.

Have you ever tried the CBT therapy?  Please check out our resources above and you will find information on the online version, MoodGYM.  It is a free online program and has helped so many here in the forum.

I am glad to see you understand yourself well and that you are starting to accept your problems and ready to deal with them.  That is a huge step and a very positive one.

Do stick with us and know we are all here for you.

Gentle Hugs



Moderator: Osteoarthritis & GERD/Heartburn
Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~* *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 6/25/2009 7:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Everyone else seems to have said it all. So, I just wanted you to know that I'll be thinking about you and I hope you feel better soon!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets." Paul Tournier

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 6/25/2009 7:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Hang in there.  We are all out here and pulling for you.  Please share the truth about what you're going through with your doctor.  That's the best way to have them give you the best advice.
God Bless!

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 6/26/2009 7:56 AM (GMT -6)   
(((boo32))) Welcome to Healingwell, as you can see we have alot of wonderful people here just trying to learn with the anxiety and panic too. I don't have much to add, but did want you to know that I am thinking of you and will pray that God gives you the comfort and courage to speak with your doctor so you can get on with enjoying your life. I look forward to hearing more from you and look forward to hearing how your doctor appointment went.

Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed for my anxiety.  Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 6/26/2009 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
You did the right thing by coming on to this site the people here have been warm and supportive to me. They give me good advice and make me feel unashamed and welcome. There is nothing to be ashamed about we all go through that and that could be part of the anxiety/depression I would have that talk with your dr he can maybe put you on some meds or lead you in the right path. There are some places that charge on a sliding scale of your income so that may be something to look into. It does get very costly to see the DR and for the therapy and meds but it sure can help tremendously! I wish you lots of luck and hang in there!...April

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 6/26/2009 2:53 PM (GMT -6)   

hi all,

thank you all so much for all the support and advice, i really feel a lot better. I'm not as stressed as i was about seeing the doc and last night i talked some things through with my husband.

I wrote down random words and sentances as i just can't get the words out sometimes. I have also written down stuff for the doc as i know once i go in there i'ii freeze, as i have done on many other occasions when i was trying to look for help.

I was feeling such a failure as i am also experiencing primary infertility and the thoughts of not being able to give my husband the family we both desire is getting to me, expecially as the problem lies with me, despite hormone treatment i'm still not pregnant.

The positive side is maybe it's not meant to happen till i sort out my mental health. I read that concieving is very hard if you're in a constant state of stress and anxiety as it messes with all the hormones, including reproductive.

I don't want to take any meds while i'm trying to concieve, i'm off my pain meds so that doesn't help. There are no resources where i live for counselling, there is only private. To go public it's a really long waiting list in which i would be seeing the same psychiatrist as my bipolar sister.

I had a psyche evaluation about 5 years ago as i was thinking of starting a family then and wanted to come off anti depressants and the psychiatrist asked me should people like me really be having children, needless to say that put me off for a while. Now at 32, i feel time is running out and it's my fault for listening to her and putting it off.

I can see light on the horizon, and that's the main thing, thank you all again.

BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most!
Fibro and spinal arthritis, trying to mange it with diet, exercise and accepting my limits, as i'm allergic to EVERYTHING!
TTC NO1 since Jan08

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