I'm sorry to hear of your troubles but i think the only way past this is too get the right kind of help. Be it counselling/therapy, and/or medication short term.
It's a big step forward being here and just being able to admit to what has happened. You can 100% get past this and one day have a fullfilling relationship, at 22 you still have so much ahead of you and it's great you're facing it now.
If you are frightened that digging up the past will result in painful memories being revisited it will only be short lived and once acknowleged can be let go of. You don't have to involve anyone else in the healing process, so if it was a family/friend that abused you, you need not worry about having to face them to get over it.
You are very strong to get this far and realise what your mind is telling you. Possibly a good book to read is Why People Don't Heal and How They Can, by Caroline Myss.
Take care and remember, while change is hard, it's worth the move.
BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most!
Fibro and spinal arthritis, trying to mange it with diet, exercise and accepting my limits, as i'm allergic to EVERYTHING!
TTC NO1 since Jan08