i hope you're all coping ok on this mudball we call earth.
I have been trying to concieve for over a year now. I've had ALL the tests and hormone treatment for 6 months which failed. My husbands test was fine also.
I just realised today the my recent surge in anwiety is caused by my plummeting self esteem.
I feel like a failur as a woman and a wife as my husband would love kids. But time is pushing on, we are both over 30 and can't afford ivf.
I also have lots of people asking when we're starting a family and while they are not being rude it's just thier curiousity as to why a 3 year married couple still haven't had a baby when all around us are.
I said to one person that i didn't want kids and she banged on for 30 mins about all the great things kids and a family brings, i had to just walk away. If i tell people i've been through the ringer ttc they get all embarassed and try to make you feel better with stupid stories of others who got pregnant after YEARS of trying. And, of course the old classic ''it'll happen as soon as you stop trying''
I know of all these stories ans as my health is against me i only have another couple of years before stopping as i don't want to be a first time mumat 40, no offence to anyone out there who does.
I guess i feel like a failur and worry about the future and staying in a job i hate as i have put my life on hold to start a family and it hasn't happened. I don't want to waste money starting a college course only to fall pregnant half way through.
I'm confused, depressed and anxiuos about everything.
BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most!
Fibro and spinal arthritis, trying to mange it with diet, exercise and accepting my limits, as i'm allergic to EVERYTHING!
TTC NO1 since Jan08