I last posted on this site a couple months ago. My condition is drug dependancy.
Im really struggling with day to day life. I had some really good advice here the last time i posted but things are getting worse. I take subutex for heroin abuse, diazepam for well i say panic disorder but really addiction I go to the gym often and have done on and off for years, but really again, addiction. Physically i appear in good shape, but mentally im in a really bad place. In the past i have had three suicide attempts, ( crys for help ) lately these thoughts have been coming back. Im nearly 40 and have achieved nothing in life other than fathering 3 great kids, who i love dearly, but again the result of my addiction, as whenever i do get clean i met my current partner the mother of my daughter, in a de-tox centre. Now however i have no desire for sex and my partner still has no idea im using drugs and i still can't bring myself to tell her. the real reason is i am so unhappy deep down and even though i know i can get help, and am getting help, it feels like im going round in circles, i so desperately want a career, something to make everyone proud of me, especially my mother and want my kids to look up to me and be a positive role model not a secret prescription drug abuser without a job.......................HELP
I deleted parts of your post but tried to leave your message intact.
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use or exchange, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
Due to the anonymity of the site and the fact that this is a peer support group and not responsible for calling any authority on any member that threatens suicide, we strongly encourage members to call the hotline , 911, a family member or a friend, or to check themselves in to the local hospital emergency room.
National Suicide Hotline
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.
Thank you in advance for you understanding.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 7/10/2009 8:09:20 AM (GMT-6)