Hey, so sometimes I get anxiety because of my girl friend. She lives in Texas and I live in Pennsylvania. We've been together for 2 years and we started getting really serious, but the problem is she lives so friggen far away, but I love her. I just never get to see her. It's frustrating because my parents won't let me fly down (they don't support this relationship). So, I told her that I have to wait till I have to wait till I get my own place to go and see her which won't be until I graduate college. Really, the only ways we keep in contact are IM, telephone, and webcam. We told each other that we will be strong for each other, but it just gets hard sometimes. I get upset when I see couples together because I know that could be me if only I could go down and be with her. My friends don't understand this relationship, but they support me because I told them that we are deeply in love. She says that we are fated to be together no matter how far away we are from each other. I have managed to control my anxiety and depression, but it just gets hard.
Can anyone give me any words of wisdom? Am I weird for doing this? I feel weird all the time but I just love her and I can't help it. =( It's been like a rollercoaster kinda.
"Getting an idea should be like sitting down on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something." -E. L. Simpson
General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) with Agoraphobia
Zoloft (100 mgs) daily
Trazadone (50 mgs) nightly
Xanax (1.25 mgs) as needed at night
Posted 7/10/2009 7:20 AM (GMT -7)
Hey man i've gone through the same thing. I think if your both willing to really work at it and the key is communication in a long distance relationship. Love is a beautiful thing, but its rough sometimes to. I think if your both wanting it to work it will. Try not to dwell on the fact you cant see each other just think about how amazing it will be to finally see her. Focus on the positive not the negative.
Posted 7/10/2009 7:42 AM (GMT -7)
Yep I've gone through the same thing... Twice.
Logically it doesn't work. In the end you find out your really not compatible. When you finally get to spend time with the other. You end up finding out they have or do things you just don't agree with. Some times it comes down to simple things. Umm example. Leaving crumbs in the butter. Very simple things. But they add up. My first internet love was 12 years ago. We are the best of friends to this day. But it wasn't going to work. He was to far away, I have roots and family here he has roots in Chicago. I did fly up to spend a weekend with him for my birthday and it was great. He is a wonderful man. Just turns out not for me. And me not for him. I love him to death. Send him care packages and we talk for hours on the phone and through email. Heck we would spend 7 hours a night chatting for 2 years straight. His job allowed me to call him through a 1800 number and boy did we talk. about anything and everything. I knew his family so well that he didn't have to introduce me. I call his mom, mom and his sis is like a sis to me.
But it all was different once we met and spent some actual time together. We both decided we would be better of friends. And I am totally happy with that.
With the second well after knowing him for 3 years through a game we decided to take it a step further. And after 6 months chatting on the phone I got to know him even further. And decided after a lot of thought that he was not the one for me. I never met him. And we have not spoken since. He showed signs of aggression and just mean per say. Not the type for me.
You really do not know someone through the internet. You think you do. But until you spend actual time with them you have no true idea. Several of my online friends have met other "friends" and non have worked out. Not a single one. I'm an avid online gamer for several years and have met 100's of people. And those people met others that they fell in "love" with. And turned out not to be compatible.
You and your "love" might turn out to be the rare match. It does not hurt to try. But keep your options open as you enter college. Don't sell yourself short. You have to take into account things that you already notice. Not having her near you. Not being able to go to the movies and enjoy each others company. Not being able to kiss her on New years. Things like this that you might regret later in life.
I live now by this one thing. Never do something you will regret later. As it will cause more and more what if's. Its not worth it.
If it was her asking this same question. I would tell her just what I told you. Live life like there is no tomorrow. Love as if it will be your last. And enjoy every moment possible. Never ever regret the past or worry about the future. As you have no idea what the future holds for you.
In the end. When you go to bed if your happy about your situation and it is full filling then continue. But I see the what if's already. You just have to accept them and decide what you plan on doing from here on out. It is your life and yours only. You can't live it through someone else or for anyone else.
Good luck. Try hard and be totally hope and honest with your love. And hope she is just as open and honest with you.
Posted 7/10/2009 10:53 PM (GMT -7)
I know this relationship has been causing you anxiety. Right now you're in school. School is extremely important as you probably already know.
Can you be happy if you put an end to this relationship?
Are there others around you that you could possibly get close to if it wasn't for this girlfriend in Texas?
The chances of this relationship making it are slim. If you really love her then see where this goes. But if your health is suffering, I would put an end to it. Good luck!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."